Its been 23 days I have lost my little caliph...since then I miss to solah...I miss to recite Quran...I am still counting the days for the time...
sesak..sebak...
Everytime I got disturbed, I whisper to Allah..Allah plz stop this bleeding...I cannot wait to talk to u...sujud to u...read Your Qalam...cry to u...
I wait patiently...I know the time will come but I just need to re-energized..till then when I hopeless, I convinced my husband to come back...I dont need physical support but I just need mental support...Alhamdulillah he is here with me..walaupun untuk beberapa hari...its enough for me...
Its been one of my scary journey when I have to witness and go through all these by myself...again Wallahi saya tak perlukan fizikal support..cukup hanya mental support..some of u will think its not a big matter...but im the one who gone through this..I experienced it for myself...been pushed to operation room all alone in the middle of the night...to remove my little baby..which I waited for 10 yrs...without no one beside me...no husband...no mom...no family...Allahu Akbar...before I enter the room...I told the nurse I need to go to toilet...I grab my phone, quickly wassap my husband...asking for forgiveness and pray....along the way to the room...tears slowly falling from my eyes...but I manage to control...I know I have to be strong...tawakalillah...its really something to be remembered..frankly if u asked me...saya masih trauma...sgt2 trauma...
Just after the surgery...I was so much in pain..and damn cold...they pushed me to ward...aftr one hour sleeping...I quickly grab my phone and call my husband..and yahhhh...nottingelse except crying...crying and crying...hahahahha...sakit2 pun masih ada energy nak ngadu...
Its not for the pain I was crying...its for the fact which I need to accept...the fact that I have lost my baby...the fact that I have to go through this alone...without him on my side...but this is the journey which has been written by Allah...I have to accept it...redha...barulah ada kemanisan dlm ujian Allah, betul tak?
Anyway, despite all what happened to me...still Allah has sent mannnnyyyy mannnyyy helps from people...from friends especially...who willing to accompany me to hospital till late night..be with me in home for 3 days after discharged...family who keeps on praying...masyaAllah..Allah bless them..please Allah..bless them..Aamiin...
When the doc told me I can go bck the next day, that night I was bitterly crying...i cannot sleep that night...I really dont know who will help me to discharged...saya masih baru di putrajya ni..saya x ramai kawan..family..pagi tu bangun I was like panic..I slowly search for Uber and Grabcar..slowly again mata xtahan nak menangis...hahaha...sbb I know sblm balik doc akan bg satu injection to me yg sgt sakit..I pray to Allah for help...that morning itself, one of my fren wassap me told she wants to visit...and she willing to help me to discharge...masyaAllah...Alhamdulillah...Allah is greater..He sends His help through which direction which we cannot expect...
Back home after 4 days in Hospital Putrajaya...masyaAllah...Alhamdulillah...what a great journey...its indeed a great journey...yes I still got traumatized with all this things..but I dont have any regret...any complaints...apatah lagi menyalahi nasib...no way for me to do that...
Sepanjang di hospital, i keep holding back my tears..masuk toilet baru nangis...malam2 da tutup lampu..again nangis...hahaha..sbb tu husband saya kt Riyadh x senang duduk...he knows me better...saya mmg penakut...xbole sorang2...but apa yg Allah aturkn mesti ada jalan ceritanya kan...n of coz Allah mesti nak yg terbaik utk hambaNya..I have to accept that...
I have to stay alone again in my home lps kena discharged dr hsptl...that is the night that I myself want to be alone..that is the night I was like all cried out...I cannot stop myself from crying..I cried till I fall asleep..I dont want anybody to be beside me..I just want to lock myself in my house.,,without any disturbance...just give me one day to be alone...alhamdulillah the next day...i feel so sooo much better...
Thanx to my bestfren who willing to stay with me for few days till my family come..again plz Allah bless this people...love u girl..
Putrajaya...one year has been past...And I already got a story to tell...hahaha...i told my hubby, should we try to buy house in Kolkata pulak lepas ni...and his answer...next year, insyaAllah...hahahah...dushhh...cant wait for a new story..new place...new journey...that is us..and it will remain so...insyaAllah
Till we meet again my blog, Assalamualaikum!!!
sesak..sebak...
Everytime I got disturbed, I whisper to Allah..Allah plz stop this bleeding...I cannot wait to talk to u...sujud to u...read Your Qalam...cry to u...
I wait patiently...I know the time will come but I just need to re-energized..till then when I hopeless, I convinced my husband to come back...I dont need physical support but I just need mental support...Alhamdulillah he is here with me..walaupun untuk beberapa hari...its enough for me...
Its been one of my scary journey when I have to witness and go through all these by myself...again Wallahi saya tak perlukan fizikal support..cukup hanya mental support..some of u will think its not a big matter...but im the one who gone through this..I experienced it for myself...been pushed to operation room all alone in the middle of the night...to remove my little baby..which I waited for 10 yrs...without no one beside me...no husband...no mom...no family...Allahu Akbar...before I enter the room...I told the nurse I need to go to toilet...I grab my phone, quickly wassap my husband...asking for forgiveness and pray....along the way to the room...tears slowly falling from my eyes...but I manage to control...I know I have to be strong...tawakalillah...its really something to be remembered..frankly if u asked me...saya masih trauma...sgt2 trauma...
Just after the surgery...I was so much in pain..and damn cold...they pushed me to ward...aftr one hour sleeping...I quickly grab my phone and call my husband..and yahhhh...nottingelse except crying...crying and crying...hahahahha...sakit2 pun masih ada energy nak ngadu...
Its not for the pain I was crying...its for the fact which I need to accept...the fact that I have lost my baby...the fact that I have to go through this alone...without him on my side...but this is the journey which has been written by Allah...I have to accept it...redha...barulah ada kemanisan dlm ujian Allah, betul tak?
Anyway, despite all what happened to me...still Allah has sent mannnnyyyy mannnyyy helps from people...from friends especially...who willing to accompany me to hospital till late night..be with me in home for 3 days after discharged...family who keeps on praying...masyaAllah..Allah bless them..please Allah..bless them..Aamiin...
When the doc told me I can go bck the next day, that night I was bitterly crying...i cannot sleep that night...I really dont know who will help me to discharged...saya masih baru di putrajya ni..saya x ramai kawan..family..pagi tu bangun I was like panic..I slowly search for Uber and Grabcar..slowly again mata xtahan nak menangis...hahaha...sbb I know sblm balik doc akan bg satu injection to me yg sgt sakit..I pray to Allah for help...that morning itself, one of my fren wassap me told she wants to visit...and she willing to help me to discharge...masyaAllah...Alhamdulillah...Allah is greater..He sends His help through which direction which we cannot expect...
Back home after 4 days in Hospital Putrajaya...masyaAllah...Alhamdulillah...what a great journey...its indeed a great journey...yes I still got traumatized with all this things..but I dont have any regret...any complaints...apatah lagi menyalahi nasib...no way for me to do that...
Sepanjang di hospital, i keep holding back my tears..masuk toilet baru nangis...malam2 da tutup lampu..again nangis...hahaha..sbb tu husband saya kt Riyadh x senang duduk...he knows me better...saya mmg penakut...xbole sorang2...but apa yg Allah aturkn mesti ada jalan ceritanya kan...n of coz Allah mesti nak yg terbaik utk hambaNya..I have to accept that...
I have to stay alone again in my home lps kena discharged dr hsptl...that is the night that I myself want to be alone..that is the night I was like all cried out...I cannot stop myself from crying..I cried till I fall asleep..I dont want anybody to be beside me..I just want to lock myself in my house.,,without any disturbance...just give me one day to be alone...alhamdulillah the next day...i feel so sooo much better...
Thanx to my bestfren who willing to stay with me for few days till my family come..again plz Allah bless this people...love u girl..
Putrajaya...one year has been past...And I already got a story to tell...hahaha...i told my hubby, should we try to buy house in Kolkata pulak lepas ni...and his answer...next year, insyaAllah...hahahah...dushhh...cant wait for a new story..new place...new journey...that is us..and it will remain so...insyaAllah
Till we meet again my blog, Assalamualaikum!!!
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