Ini cerita pasal 11 tahun yg lalu

5th September 2005
11 tahun berlalu

Hari dia pergi. Saya peluk rapat along. Separuh jerit dalam sendu saya cakap kat along "adik nak kiamat along...cepatlah kiamat..I want him back.." Ironically, the same immature girl, pernah dulu jerit juga pada kakaknya "ask him to go away from my life...I dont need him"

Astaghfirullah

2 minggu sebelum ayah pergi, 21 Ogos hari jadinya. Kami ingat. Tapi kami pura2 lupa. Egonya adik. I know without remind along pun dia mesti ingat. Tapi degilnya kami.

Astaghfirullah...

Ayah, how can I continue living like this
Sekarang ayah sudah tiada
anak2mu derita dalam diam
Pendam tak terluah
Hadam apa jua yg diberi, dibuli
Sebab takut tak disayangi

Doa adik dah berubah ayah
Tiada lain yg adik minta
kalau mati itu lebih baik dari nyawa
Adik dan along nak bersama
Dkt sana yg kekal selamanya

"Adik nak kiamat"
"Cepatlah kiamat"
Astaghfirullah..masih ingat lg jeritan itu

We will meet you soon Father
AlFatihah

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal SURVIVE

Ini cerita pasal survive

From young girls till grown up girls

We know very well the word of 'surviving'

Thats the reason we dont mind to be the first person to say "I am sorry" and "Thank You" as a matter of appreciation and respect of other people generousity

Its a tough life...very tough

But experience of life taught us not to be ego but humble. We couldnt ask for more what we dont deserve but prefer to strugle n work hard on our own. The rest we choose to leave it to Allah

(We-->me n along)

Till we meet again, my blog

Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal LURUS

Naive and stupid

Ada bezanya.

Saya selalu dipanggil sebagai yg slow, lembab, lambat pickup, naif, lurus, blur (eh banyaknya) sbb susah nak faham apa yg org tu nak sampaikan. Suami saya dulu selalu panggil saya 'tubelight'. Kalu org buat jokes kdg2 saya terpaksa ambil masa 2-3 minit nak faham. Byk kali juga langsung tak faham 😔😔😔

Ada jgk situasi bila masa saya ditipu, I came to my husband n crying. I asked him, teruk sgt ke jd org yg lurus. Dia pujuk saya, "its okay its not ur fault. Your heart is so soft. You are my naive wife, u want to believe on everything.Thats why u always got fooled". I guess he is right. Some people must say u r naive and stupid. But i must say to them I might be naive but I am not stupid.

Kalau boleh I really want to believe on everything. Saya xnak bengkang bengkok kan hati saya dgn "bad things" walupun ianya mustahil. Saya mudah percaya dgn janji org. Saya faham nak survive dlm dunia sekarang ni kita kena berhati2. Naive people used to get fooled. Dan ianya byk berlaku kt diri saya. Yes I used to get exploited and manipulated by people, friends or families but i am not stupid. Stupid people they never learnt from a lesson. I might be naive to get cheated once, but I am not stupid to get fooled twice. Get it?

I am sorry if saya menyusahkn mereka sbb buat mereka fed up utk explain...😔😔😔Saya hargai sungguh2 mereka yg sabar dgn saya. True it hurts if someone shout straightly to my face again n again telling how much tired they are with me..kena explain benda yg sama byk kali..but what can i do? From my sincere heart really I am sorry😭😭😭

Anyway, let me know eh kalu ada kelas tusyen utk org mcm saya..i will be the first to register..😅😅😅

Tapi its ok...saya masih bijak utk choose antara right n wrong(of course lps belajar dr kesilapan)...n if I can make a right choice, I believe I am not that 'lurus' as what certain people think of me..isnt it?😋😋😋

Till we meet again, my blog.

Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal NUMBER OF ENTRIES

My first entry was 2009

Sekarang 2016
7 tahun da berlalu
Maknanya blog ini ditulis masa saya umur 24thn
Bahahahaha
Padanlah ayat skema je bila baca balik
I was soooo immature that time
Tu pun kena dera ngn suami bkk blog ni
Dia yg set up kn smua

So brape byk entries yg saya tulis pun saya xtau
But rest assure...it will continue..insyaAllah

Till we meet again, my blog!!!
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal TERAPI

Terapi

Malam2 teman suami minum kopi dkt kedai mamak...tgh rancak berborak dtg wanita tua bwk dua beg plastik besar jual kerepek 3 RM10 dtg dkt kami...kami beli sebungkus...dan makcik td berlalu pergi...I believe ini suasana yg normal yg selalu ada dekat sini...ramai yg beli hanya niat membantu sahaja...

For us, seing the situation itself breaks our heart...We just silent for a moment. Kami lupa topik apa yg kami borakkan. After a while, saya just ckp ngn suami that could be my therapy. Its not only we need to see beach, river, waterfall, mountain, doctors, travels, entertainment, or even shopping to get  self-therapy or to get piece of mind.

Walaupun mungkin saya tak mampu utk tolong beli kerepek makcik tu...tp hanya lihat dia struggle bwk dua beg kerepek dr meja ke meja itu cukup untuk dijadikan terapi buat saya. Terapi utk kuat. Utk syukur. Utk sabar.

Allow yourself to look at your surrounding. You could find your best therapy in it. Super easy kan? Sebab apa? Sebab Allah kurnia kn akal pada kita utk lihat tersurat dan tersirat darinya. Simple tapi mungkin sgt signifikan.

Selamat malam Malaysia
Masih jetlag

Till we meet again, my blog!!!
Assalamualaikum