Ini cerita pasal "rare breed of woman"

Can I b a RARE breed of woman just to get a RARE type of love...

Saya nak sgt patah balik masa (how i wish to do so)
Byk sgt yg saya nak perbetulkan benda yg tak betul...ya Allah byk nyaaaa...!!!!

Saya nak patah balik masa sbb I want to be one of that kind..
A RARE ONE!!!
saya percaya semua wanita ingin menjadi seperti itu..
Utk menjadi sejenis yg RARE=sejenis yg BUKAN biasa-biasa..

Tapi saya tak mau fokus sgt dlm konteks hubungan sesama manusia..saya tau saya akn byk rasa sakit..kecewa..saya da belajar semuanya ini...jd saya lebih suka bicara dlm konteks hubungan dgn yg Maha Pencipta..

I believe bila kita jd luar biasa...Allah akn kurniakan kasih syg drp DIA pun yg luar biasa...

Dan saya mahukan begitu...

Kasih syg dr Allah yg luar biasa
Kasih syg dr makhluk pun AKAN jd luar biasa
Ia bersifat relatif...indah bukan?
Subhanallah...

Selama 33 tahun ini...saya byk buat Allah pandang sy dgn perkara-perkara luar biasa yg telah saya lakukan..dan saya tahu..pandangan Allah itu bukan pandangan yg penuh kecintaan..tp sebaliknya...

Apa akan jd bila saya berumur 43..53..63???
Saya tak nak pandangan itu lagi...Taknak, ya Allah...😭😭😭

Saya nak pandangan dan perhatian Allah dgn penuh kecintaan dan keredhaan...
Saya inginkan rare type of love from Allah...
Cinta Dia pd saya yg bukan biasa-biasa

Kenapa saya tulis semua ini?
Bukan utk tunjuk baik disebalik ayat berpujangga...
Tp saya nak ayat2 saya ni kelak akan makan diri saya sendiri...
U know when u say something...u actually telah meletakkan tanggungjawab pd setiap ayat kamu...

Tapi......
Mampu ke???
nak tulis ni pun teragak2...
takut..malu...

Sebab saya tau...
Saya selalu sgt berkata-kata tapi jarang berusaha...
Saya selalu imannya turun drp byk naiknya..
Saya selalu mencari Dia hanya bila terluka..

Selagi ada masa...selagi ada peluang..
Tlglh grab cepat2..
Jgn jadi mcm saya..
always wish to turn back the time..
To correct everything I have done...

Astaghfirullah...
La hawlawala quwwata illah billah...

Till we meet again,my blog!
Assalamualaikum

#dontstopmefromwriting
#coretanblog
#fromdesertwithlove

Ini cerita pasal "6 of Us"

Full 6 in one frame...bukan senang nak kumpulkan semua..i think this pic was taken few 3-4 years back..

After all, these are my good buddies..the best one..the closest one..they all witness each other "perangai buruk"...share all the bad and good moments together..do all those naughty stuff together..malam2 drive jln gelap sebelah kubur cina smbil dgr lagu Backstreet boys or Spice girls (bila mood dera yg lelaki) or dgr System of down or Sheila on 7 (bila kena dera dgn yg laki)..

If I wnt to write bout them, it will never end..it will be a loooooong essay..and of course with a lil bit emotional..hahahah..especially with those 2 boys there..masyaAllah..merekalah penjaga kami..penglipur lara kami..and our troublemaker..seriously..a big one..accident motor je da berapa kali..hahaha..

Missing all of them..missing all the memories..really those were the days..alhamdulillah we still keep in touch..despite we are no longer together..may Allah put us together in Jannah..lots of love..yours truly, little bubbles...

Ini cerita pasal "Rumah Saudi Saya"

Nampak bangunan kotak tu..itulah rumah apartment kami dkt saudi ni..5 tahun dah kami duduk di rumah kotak ni...House which i feel more like a home than our house in Malaysia.
Mungkin lg 3 bln..atau 6 bln atau lg setahun...xtau lh berapa lama lg bole stay tp yg saya tahu we will leave soon...very soon..who knows

Awal2 pindah, tgk keadaan rumah kami kena redha mcm2...lift rumah kami yg hidup segan mati x mau..yg nk tekan butang lift terpaksa tekan semua butang sbb nombor smua da tercabut...yg bila naik tangga lg cpt smpi ke rumah drp tnggu pintu lif bkk..itu br citer pasal lift..dlm rumah kami plak, suis rumah kami yg wireman nye pasang terbalik..nk bkk lampu kena switch off suis tu..kalu nk tutup kena switch on plak suis tu..adehh pening..aircond plak jenis yg aircond tingkap smua bilik..itu standard kt saudi ni..yg kalau nk tidur mcm terdengar org mesin rumput kt sebelah kita..dia punya bising..aduhai...xcukup dgn tu, bila kita tutup kta akn terganggu plak dgn jiran sebelah nye aircond..smpi nak tgk tv kena bukak volume sehabis kuat..😭😭😭

Lagi satu pasal water heater. Mostly kat sini ramai rumah pakai yg jenis geezer. Yg kena switch on lps tu kena tunggu 30minit nak tnggu dia panas baru bole mandi. Tapi tu kalau winter lah. Kalau sunmer tak payah pakai air panas. Dah semulajadi air paip tu panas. Dan dia punya panas jangan buat main woo..seyes panas..so mcm biasa kalau ada geezer dia akan pasang sekali dua paip. Paip biru untuk air sejuk. Paip merah untuk air panas. So kalu summer kita tak boleh bukak air directly dr paip sbb mmg tak tahan panas sgt. Bayangkan suhu luar hampir cecah 50 degrees..so kita kena adjust tahap kepanasan dgn bukak dua2 paip. Paip biru n paip merah. Paip biru dari tangki asal. Paip merah dari tangki geezer tu. Ha faham tak? Adeh susah nak explain. Tp senang citer, nak mandi pun sikit punya susah sbb nak kena main2 adjust paip pulak.hahaha.

Next things, L.I.P.A.S... yg ni pelik sgt tgk spesis lipas kt saudi. mcm2 bentuk keluar...hahah..xpernah cheq tengok kt malaysia sana. Pastu banyakkkkk gila..rupanya bukan rumah ktrg je. Rumah2 kwn2 lain dkt saudi ni pun cmtu jgk. Sampaikan kalu kita berkumpul bila bukak topik lipas semua excited nak bercerita. Mcm2 tips keluar cmne nak halau lipas. Nanti ada masa farah jd lipas hunter eh tnjuk kat korang cmne bentuk2 lipas kat sini..hahaha xde keje ko kan...but one thing yg kami duk fikir, kenapa rumah kat riyadh ni xpernah jumpe sekor pun cicak. Dah 5 thn lbh sekor cicak pun tak pernah jumpe. Xtau lh kenapa ek. Mungkin faktor cuaca padang pasir kot. Entahlah. Ha tgk...pasal cicak pun nak jd isu.

Habuk. Ha yg ni paling tak berkenan. Terutamanya bila lepas ribut pasir. Memang rumah habis berhabuk. Yg sadis nya kalu ko lepas cuci tandas and tetibe malam tu terjadi ribut pasir. Tak ke menangis ko rasa. Dah kena cuci lagi esoknya. Sebab tu tingkap saya berhabuk tak pernah lap. Sebab luar frame tingkap habis kitorang tampal selotep so biarkan je habuk tu terlekat dekat tingkap..muahahah xnk ngaku malas..and ada jgk malam2 saya tidur dengan pakai niqab sbb tak tahan dgn bau habuk. Smpai problem nak nafas pun ada. Tapi xpelah kan. Redha ajelah. Bukan tiap2 ari pun kena. Mostly bila nak masuk pertukaran cuaca je.

Next, suis lampu kelip2 dan selalu sgt suis terbakar. Mula2 selalu ingat ada kewujudan entiti yg misteri dekat rumah ni bila lampu kelip2. Hasil pengaruh citer mistik dkt tv. Told u wireman dkt bangunan ni ikut suka hati dia je nak pasang lagu mana. Pernah panggil technician utk betulkn tp dia pun give up sbb runsing cmne nak betulkn..hahaha..one day, jiran kat bawah rumah kami, rumah dia kena short circuit. Habes terbakar laptop, and few more barang lektrik dia. Tp yg bestnya dia diamkan aje. Seminggu satu banggunan effect lampu kelip2. Da mcm duk dalam disco da ktrg berdua dkt rumah ni. Ktrg tepon haris(caretaker) rumah ni suh dia siasat. N finally jumpe asbab nye. Pastu bermulalah cabaran nye nak kol TNB saudi suh hantar wakil betulkan. Time tulah terkial2 drg nak kumpulkan jiran arab yg bole ckp arab (sbb ktrg xkenal pun jiran2 ktrg kt sini..hehhe)..and it take 2-3 hari nak selesaikan...susahhhh sgt nak deal ngn pak arab2 ni..good side is barulah ktrg kenal ngn jiran2 kami kt sini..kalu x haram nak tegur depa ni..drg jenis bukak pintu terus masuk rumah cpt2..

Whatever it is, saya tetap suka rumah saya..kenapa saya suka rumah saya..sebab dia best...hehehe..walaupun owner building kami sgt kedekut nak keluarkn duit betulkn apa yg x betul kt rumah ni..ktrg da malas nak argue..rumah ktrg kecil je cukup utk ktrg berdua..2 bilik 2 toilet...good thing is dapur agak luas..dapur is my office naaa..heheh..and even mysteriously, I always got ill kalau balik sini, selalu sgt sakit, still berat nak tnggalkn rumah ni..and my bedroom..is my territory..tempat menangis, tempat merajuk, my ward when i am ill, and also workstation for my artwork, it just the best place for me to hang out..how long can i stay more..wallahu a'lam...go with the flow jelah kan..ok its 3.30pm...cheq baru nak p mandiii..😂

Till we meet again, my blog!!!
Assalamualaikum

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblogsebabmalasnakmandi

Ini cerita pasal "saya, suami dan Maths"

(Dah lama tak memblogging...entry bawah ni da berkurun tulis tp lupa nak post..i like to tease my husband..sampai dia marah..so jadilah mcm cerita kat bawah ni)

Saya, suami dan maths

Saya dan matematik
Ibarat dua jiwa yg TAKKAN bersatu
Berkahwin pula dgn seorang yg minat pd matematik
Jd nampak tak? saya dan matematik tak perlu pun utk bersatu..haha..😂

Dulu2 masa saya tgh fanatik main derby dekat hayday (eh sekarang pun fanatik)..ada task yg kena setelkn and saya selalu stuck nak amek ke tidak task itu. Sebabnya saya tak tahu logik akal(atau malas) cmne nak kira expiry task. Hahaha punyalah slow nak fikir. Disebabkan itu, saya kerap utarakan soklan2 yg mencabar(at least mencabar utk saya) kepada suami saya.
I still can remember masa tu tgh winter. Saya main hayday dalam selimut. Saya xnampak suami saya tgh buat apa. So dlm selimut jgk saya tanya dia;

"Be, I have a problem need you to solve for me right now" "Problem???😳Ok tell me". Terkejut dia dgr bila ckp problem kena setel..So saya tanya "Let say, if I have 15 sheeps, and I need to collect 60 wools within 5 days. But the prob is, this task only left 3 more days. And I can collect this wool every 6 hours. How many hours/days you think I can complete. Do u think is it okay for me to take this task?" Panjang lebar saya cuba susun ayat nak bg dia paham.

Tetibe selimut saya disentap. Lama dia tenung saya..Finally dia respond, "do u think I have interest to leave my programming task and solve all those math question for your sheep task?"Barulah saya terpandang skrin hitam putih laptop dia. Alamak. Wrong timing pulak..gulppp...

Dgn rasa serba salah saya mencari alasan. "U know, I am the leader of this group. I have a reputation to keep. Kenalah amek task yang mencabar. U have to understand that." Bahahaha. Lantaklah bkn dia tau pun task kutip bulu kambing tu cmne. Then dia reply, "tell me again the question" hahahah yess..dgn serius dia kira soklan tu dlm bahasa bengali dia. Then dia jawab, ok u can take that task if only u can settle it on time. And dont disturb me again with those kind of question. Laju je dia meneruskan kerjanya. "Okay boss, no worry" 😘😘😘

Esok, lusa dan hari seterusnya saya tetap disturb dia utk selesaikan masalah telur ayam, susu lembu, tanam padi, strawberi, ubi, labu pula. Dan alhamdulillah dia tak pernah menghampakan saya..😆😆 tapi saya telah belajar dari kesilapan...2 benda yg perlu dielakkan iaitu Laptop dan selimut.  1)Saya takkan tanya ketika dia tengah pegang laptop
2)saya takkan bertanya dia dalam selimut.

Otherwise all is well 😋😋😋

Yes I am still having childish mind even I just turn 32..hahaha

(Again i berjaya made the coin-->1 234 567...hahaha mengong)


Till we meet again, my blog

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog

Ini cerita pasal "Lost the loved one"

Its been 23 days I have lost my little caliph...since then I miss to solah...I miss to recite Quran...I am still counting the days for the time...

sesak..sebak...

Everytime I got disturbed, I whisper to Allah..Allah plz stop this bleeding...I cannot wait to talk to u...sujud to u...read Your Qalam...cry to u...

I wait patiently...I know the time will come but I just need to re-energized..till then when I hopeless, I convinced my husband to come back...I dont need physical support but I just need mental support...Alhamdulillah he is here with me..walaupun untuk beberapa hari...its enough for me...

Its been one of my scary journey when I have to witness and go through all these by myself...again Wallahi saya tak perlukan fizikal support..cukup hanya mental support..some of u will think its not a big matter...but im the one who gone through this..I experienced it for myself...been pushed to operation room all alone in the middle of the night...to remove my little baby..which I waited for 10 yrs...without no one beside me...no husband...no mom...no family...Allahu Akbar...before I enter the room...I told the nurse I need to go to toilet...I grab my phone, quickly wassap my husband...asking for forgiveness and pray....along the way to the room...tears slowly falling from my eyes...but I manage to control...I know I have to be strong...tawakalillah...its really something to be remembered..frankly if u asked me...saya masih trauma...sgt2 trauma...

Just after the surgery...I was so much in pain..and damn cold...they pushed me to ward...aftr one hour sleeping...I quickly grab my phone and call my husband..and yahhhh...nottingelse except crying...crying and crying...hahahahha...sakit2 pun masih ada energy nak ngadu...

Its not for the pain I was crying...its for the fact which I need to accept...the fact that I have lost my baby...the fact that I have to go through this alone...without him on my side...but this is the journey which has been written by Allah...I have to accept it...redha...barulah ada kemanisan dlm ujian Allah, betul tak?

Anyway, despite all what happened to me...still Allah has sent mannnnyyyy mannnyyy helps from people...from friends especially...who willing to accompany me to hospital till late night..be with me in home for 3 days after discharged...family who keeps on praying...masyaAllah..Allah bless them..please Allah..bless them..Aamiin...

When the doc told me I can go bck the next day, that night I was bitterly crying...i cannot sleep that night...I really dont know who will help me to discharged...saya masih baru di putrajya ni..saya x ramai kawan..family..pagi tu bangun I was like panic..I slowly search for Uber and Grabcar..slowly again mata xtahan nak menangis...hahaha...sbb I know sblm balik doc akan bg satu injection to me yg sgt sakit..I pray to Allah for help...that morning itself, one of my fren wassap me told she wants to visit...and she willing to help me to discharge...masyaAllah...Alhamdulillah...Allah is greater..He sends His help through which direction which we cannot expect...
Back home after 4 days in Hospital Putrajaya...masyaAllah...Alhamdulillah...what a great journey...its indeed a great journey...yes I still got traumatized with all this things..but I dont have any regret...any complaints...apatah lagi menyalahi nasib...no way for me to do that...

Sepanjang di hospital, i keep holding back my tears..masuk toilet baru nangis...malam2 da tutup lampu..again nangis...hahaha..sbb tu husband saya kt Riyadh x senang duduk...he knows me better...saya mmg penakut...xbole sorang2...but apa yg Allah aturkn mesti ada jalan ceritanya kan...n of coz Allah mesti nak yg terbaik utk hambaNya..I have to accept that...

I have to stay alone again in my home lps kena discharged dr hsptl...that is the night that I myself want to be alone..that is the night I was like all cried out...I cannot stop myself from crying..I cried till I fall asleep..I dont want anybody to be beside me..I just want to lock myself in my house.,,without any disturbance...just give me one day to be alone...alhamdulillah the next day...i feel so sooo much better...

Thanx to my bestfren who willing to stay with me for few days till my family come..again plz Allah bless this people...love u girl..

Putrajaya...one year has been past...And I already got a story to tell...hahaha...i told my hubby, should we try to buy house in Kolkata pulak lepas ni...and his answer...next year, insyaAllah...hahahah...dushhh...cant wait for a new story..new place...new journey...that is us..and it will remain so...insyaAllah

Till we meet again my blog, Assalamualaikum!!!