Ini cerita pasal "6 of Us"

Full 6 in one frame...bukan senang nak kumpulkan semua..i think this pic was taken few 3-4 years back..

After all, these are my good buddies..the best one..the closest one..they all witness each other "perangai buruk"...share all the bad and good moments together..do all those naughty stuff together..malam2 drive jln gelap sebelah kubur cina smbil dgr lagu Backstreet boys or Spice girls (bila mood dera yg lelaki) or dgr System of down or Sheila on 7 (bila kena dera dgn yg laki)..

If I wnt to write bout them, it will never end..it will be a loooooong essay..and of course with a lil bit emotional..hahahah..especially with those 2 boys there..masyaAllah..merekalah penjaga kami..penglipur lara kami..and our troublemaker..seriously..a big one..accident motor je da berapa kali..hahaha..

Missing all of them..missing all the memories..really those were the days..alhamdulillah we still keep in touch..despite we are no longer together..may Allah put us together in Jannah..lots of love..yours truly, little bubbles...

Ini cerita pasal "Rumah Saudi Saya"

Nampak bangunan kotak tu..itulah rumah apartment kami dkt saudi ni..5 tahun dah kami duduk di rumah kotak ni...House which i feel more like a home than our house in Malaysia.
Mungkin lg 3 bln..atau 6 bln atau lg setahun...xtau lh berapa lama lg bole stay tp yg saya tahu we will leave soon...very soon..who knows

Awal2 pindah, tgk keadaan rumah kami kena redha mcm2...lift rumah kami yg hidup segan mati x mau..yg nk tekan butang lift terpaksa tekan semua butang sbb nombor smua da tercabut...yg bila naik tangga lg cpt smpi ke rumah drp tnggu pintu lif bkk..itu br citer pasal lift..dlm rumah kami plak, suis rumah kami yg wireman nye pasang terbalik..nk bkk lampu kena switch off suis tu..kalu nk tutup kena switch on plak suis tu..adehh pening..aircond plak jenis yg aircond tingkap smua bilik..itu standard kt saudi ni..yg kalau nk tidur mcm terdengar org mesin rumput kt sebelah kita..dia punya bising..aduhai...xcukup dgn tu, bila kita tutup kta akn terganggu plak dgn jiran sebelah nye aircond..smpi nak tgk tv kena bukak volume sehabis kuat..😭😭😭

Lagi satu pasal water heater. Mostly kat sini ramai rumah pakai yg jenis geezer. Yg kena switch on lps tu kena tunggu 30minit nak tnggu dia panas baru bole mandi. Tapi tu kalau winter lah. Kalau sunmer tak payah pakai air panas. Dah semulajadi air paip tu panas. Dan dia punya panas jangan buat main woo..seyes panas..so mcm biasa kalau ada geezer dia akan pasang sekali dua paip. Paip biru untuk air sejuk. Paip merah untuk air panas. So kalu summer kita tak boleh bukak air directly dr paip sbb mmg tak tahan panas sgt. Bayangkan suhu luar hampir cecah 50 degrees..so kita kena adjust tahap kepanasan dgn bukak dua2 paip. Paip biru n paip merah. Paip biru dari tangki asal. Paip merah dari tangki geezer tu. Ha faham tak? Adeh susah nak explain. Tp senang citer, nak mandi pun sikit punya susah sbb nak kena main2 adjust paip pulak.hahaha.

Next things, L.I.P.A.S... yg ni pelik sgt tgk spesis lipas kt saudi. mcm2 bentuk keluar...hahah..xpernah cheq tengok kt malaysia sana. Pastu banyakkkkk gila..rupanya bukan rumah ktrg je. Rumah2 kwn2 lain dkt saudi ni pun cmtu jgk. Sampaikan kalu kita berkumpul bila bukak topik lipas semua excited nak bercerita. Mcm2 tips keluar cmne nak halau lipas. Nanti ada masa farah jd lipas hunter eh tnjuk kat korang cmne bentuk2 lipas kat sini..hahaha xde keje ko kan...but one thing yg kami duk fikir, kenapa rumah kat riyadh ni xpernah jumpe sekor pun cicak. Dah 5 thn lbh sekor cicak pun tak pernah jumpe. Xtau lh kenapa ek. Mungkin faktor cuaca padang pasir kot. Entahlah. Ha tgk...pasal cicak pun nak jd isu.

Habuk. Ha yg ni paling tak berkenan. Terutamanya bila lepas ribut pasir. Memang rumah habis berhabuk. Yg sadis nya kalu ko lepas cuci tandas and tetibe malam tu terjadi ribut pasir. Tak ke menangis ko rasa. Dah kena cuci lagi esoknya. Sebab tu tingkap saya berhabuk tak pernah lap. Sebab luar frame tingkap habis kitorang tampal selotep so biarkan je habuk tu terlekat dekat tingkap..muahahah xnk ngaku malas..and ada jgk malam2 saya tidur dengan pakai niqab sbb tak tahan dgn bau habuk. Smpai problem nak nafas pun ada. Tapi xpelah kan. Redha ajelah. Bukan tiap2 ari pun kena. Mostly bila nak masuk pertukaran cuaca je.

Next, suis lampu kelip2 dan selalu sgt suis terbakar. Mula2 selalu ingat ada kewujudan entiti yg misteri dekat rumah ni bila lampu kelip2. Hasil pengaruh citer mistik dkt tv. Told u wireman dkt bangunan ni ikut suka hati dia je nak pasang lagu mana. Pernah panggil technician utk betulkn tp dia pun give up sbb runsing cmne nak betulkn..hahaha..one day, jiran kat bawah rumah kami, rumah dia kena short circuit. Habes terbakar laptop, and few more barang lektrik dia. Tp yg bestnya dia diamkan aje. Seminggu satu banggunan effect lampu kelip2. Da mcm duk dalam disco da ktrg berdua dkt rumah ni. Ktrg tepon haris(caretaker) rumah ni suh dia siasat. N finally jumpe asbab nye. Pastu bermulalah cabaran nye nak kol TNB saudi suh hantar wakil betulkan. Time tulah terkial2 drg nak kumpulkan jiran arab yg bole ckp arab (sbb ktrg xkenal pun jiran2 ktrg kt sini..hehhe)..and it take 2-3 hari nak selesaikan...susahhhh sgt nak deal ngn pak arab2 ni..good side is barulah ktrg kenal ngn jiran2 kami kt sini..kalu x haram nak tegur depa ni..drg jenis bukak pintu terus masuk rumah cpt2..

Whatever it is, saya tetap suka rumah saya..kenapa saya suka rumah saya..sebab dia best...hehehe..walaupun owner building kami sgt kedekut nak keluarkn duit betulkn apa yg x betul kt rumah ni..ktrg da malas nak argue..rumah ktrg kecil je cukup utk ktrg berdua..2 bilik 2 toilet...good thing is dapur agak luas..dapur is my office naaa..heheh..and even mysteriously, I always got ill kalau balik sini, selalu sgt sakit, still berat nak tnggalkn rumah ni..and my bedroom..is my territory..tempat menangis, tempat merajuk, my ward when i am ill, and also workstation for my artwork, it just the best place for me to hang out..how long can i stay more..wallahu a'lam...go with the flow jelah kan..ok its 3.30pm...cheq baru nak p mandiii..😂

Till we meet again, my blog!!!
Assalamualaikum

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblogsebabmalasnakmandi

Ini cerita pasal "saya, suami dan Maths"

(Dah lama tak memblogging...entry bawah ni da berkurun tulis tp lupa nak post..i like to tease my husband..sampai dia marah..so jadilah mcm cerita kat bawah ni)

Saya, suami dan maths

Saya dan matematik
Ibarat dua jiwa yg TAKKAN bersatu
Berkahwin pula dgn seorang yg minat pd matematik
Jd nampak tak? saya dan matematik tak perlu pun utk bersatu..haha..😂

Dulu2 masa saya tgh fanatik main derby dekat hayday (eh sekarang pun fanatik)..ada task yg kena setelkn and saya selalu stuck nak amek ke tidak task itu. Sebabnya saya tak tahu logik akal(atau malas) cmne nak kira expiry task. Hahaha punyalah slow nak fikir. Disebabkan itu, saya kerap utarakan soklan2 yg mencabar(at least mencabar utk saya) kepada suami saya.
I still can remember masa tu tgh winter. Saya main hayday dalam selimut. Saya xnampak suami saya tgh buat apa. So dlm selimut jgk saya tanya dia;

"Be, I have a problem need you to solve for me right now" "Problem???😳Ok tell me". Terkejut dia dgr bila ckp problem kena setel..So saya tanya "Let say, if I have 15 sheeps, and I need to collect 60 wools within 5 days. But the prob is, this task only left 3 more days. And I can collect this wool every 6 hours. How many hours/days you think I can complete. Do u think is it okay for me to take this task?" Panjang lebar saya cuba susun ayat nak bg dia paham.

Tetibe selimut saya disentap. Lama dia tenung saya..Finally dia respond, "do u think I have interest to leave my programming task and solve all those math question for your sheep task?"Barulah saya terpandang skrin hitam putih laptop dia. Alamak. Wrong timing pulak..gulppp...

Dgn rasa serba salah saya mencari alasan. "U know, I am the leader of this group. I have a reputation to keep. Kenalah amek task yang mencabar. U have to understand that." Bahahaha. Lantaklah bkn dia tau pun task kutip bulu kambing tu cmne. Then dia reply, "tell me again the question" hahahah yess..dgn serius dia kira soklan tu dlm bahasa bengali dia. Then dia jawab, ok u can take that task if only u can settle it on time. And dont disturb me again with those kind of question. Laju je dia meneruskan kerjanya. "Okay boss, no worry" 😘😘😘

Esok, lusa dan hari seterusnya saya tetap disturb dia utk selesaikan masalah telur ayam, susu lembu, tanam padi, strawberi, ubi, labu pula. Dan alhamdulillah dia tak pernah menghampakan saya..😆😆 tapi saya telah belajar dari kesilapan...2 benda yg perlu dielakkan iaitu Laptop dan selimut.  1)Saya takkan tanya ketika dia tengah pegang laptop
2)saya takkan bertanya dia dalam selimut.

Otherwise all is well 😋😋😋

Yes I am still having childish mind even I just turn 32..hahaha

(Again i berjaya made the coin-->1 234 567...hahaha mengong)


Till we meet again, my blog

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog

Ini cerita pasal "Lost the loved one"

Its been 23 days I have lost my little caliph...since then I miss to solah...I miss to recite Quran...I am still counting the days for the time...

sesak..sebak...

Everytime I got disturbed, I whisper to Allah..Allah plz stop this bleeding...I cannot wait to talk to u...sujud to u...read Your Qalam...cry to u...

I wait patiently...I know the time will come but I just need to re-energized..till then when I hopeless, I convinced my husband to come back...I dont need physical support but I just need mental support...Alhamdulillah he is here with me..walaupun untuk beberapa hari...its enough for me...

Its been one of my scary journey when I have to witness and go through all these by myself...again Wallahi saya tak perlukan fizikal support..cukup hanya mental support..some of u will think its not a big matter...but im the one who gone through this..I experienced it for myself...been pushed to operation room all alone in the middle of the night...to remove my little baby..which I waited for 10 yrs...without no one beside me...no husband...no mom...no family...Allahu Akbar...before I enter the room...I told the nurse I need to go to toilet...I grab my phone, quickly wassap my husband...asking for forgiveness and pray....along the way to the room...tears slowly falling from my eyes...but I manage to control...I know I have to be strong...tawakalillah...its really something to be remembered..frankly if u asked me...saya masih trauma...sgt2 trauma...

Just after the surgery...I was so much in pain..and damn cold...they pushed me to ward...aftr one hour sleeping...I quickly grab my phone and call my husband..and yahhhh...nottingelse except crying...crying and crying...hahahahha...sakit2 pun masih ada energy nak ngadu...

Its not for the pain I was crying...its for the fact which I need to accept...the fact that I have lost my baby...the fact that I have to go through this alone...without him on my side...but this is the journey which has been written by Allah...I have to accept it...redha...barulah ada kemanisan dlm ujian Allah, betul tak?

Anyway, despite all what happened to me...still Allah has sent mannnnyyyy mannnyyy helps from people...from friends especially...who willing to accompany me to hospital till late night..be with me in home for 3 days after discharged...family who keeps on praying...masyaAllah..Allah bless them..please Allah..bless them..Aamiin...

When the doc told me I can go bck the next day, that night I was bitterly crying...i cannot sleep that night...I really dont know who will help me to discharged...saya masih baru di putrajya ni..saya x ramai kawan..family..pagi tu bangun I was like panic..I slowly search for Uber and Grabcar..slowly again mata xtahan nak menangis...hahaha...sbb I know sblm balik doc akan bg satu injection to me yg sgt sakit..I pray to Allah for help...that morning itself, one of my fren wassap me told she wants to visit...and she willing to help me to discharge...masyaAllah...Alhamdulillah...Allah is greater..He sends His help through which direction which we cannot expect...
Back home after 4 days in Hospital Putrajaya...masyaAllah...Alhamdulillah...what a great journey...its indeed a great journey...yes I still got traumatized with all this things..but I dont have any regret...any complaints...apatah lagi menyalahi nasib...no way for me to do that...

Sepanjang di hospital, i keep holding back my tears..masuk toilet baru nangis...malam2 da tutup lampu..again nangis...hahaha..sbb tu husband saya kt Riyadh x senang duduk...he knows me better...saya mmg penakut...xbole sorang2...but apa yg Allah aturkn mesti ada jalan ceritanya kan...n of coz Allah mesti nak yg terbaik utk hambaNya..I have to accept that...

I have to stay alone again in my home lps kena discharged dr hsptl...that is the night that I myself want to be alone..that is the night I was like all cried out...I cannot stop myself from crying..I cried till I fall asleep..I dont want anybody to be beside me..I just want to lock myself in my house.,,without any disturbance...just give me one day to be alone...alhamdulillah the next day...i feel so sooo much better...

Thanx to my bestfren who willing to stay with me for few days till my family come..again plz Allah bless this people...love u girl..

Putrajaya...one year has been past...And I already got a story to tell...hahaha...i told my hubby, should we try to buy house in Kolkata pulak lepas ni...and his answer...next year, insyaAllah...hahahah...dushhh...cant wait for a new story..new place...new journey...that is us..and it will remain so...insyaAllah

Till we meet again my blog, Assalamualaikum!!!

Ini cerita pasal "EMAK"

It almost happened 2 months...but it still ringing in my mind like it was happened yesterday...

Jangan lagi mak..jangan lagi...😥😥😥

2 days before it happened, saya masih dalam pantang..mom was supposed to go back to Johor dgn along esoknya..but suddenly I was so much in pain..I can remember, masa tu kawan saya yg juga doctor di Hospital Putrajaya, dtg ziarah saya di rumah..and I was like so much eager to share my pain with her..so I told her I was having so much pain at that place where I got my surgery..dan dia ckp, dalam rahim tu sepatutnya tak kan sakit..kalau sakit it could be something wrong..I think u got "bentan" ni..and I was like so much panic bila dgr perkataan tu..a doctor bila da ckp cmtu siapa lah yg xpanic..and that night I was having mild fever..seluruh badan menggigil..and I couldnt tolerate with the pain..Sakit sgt..so I was checking in internet what is bentan..and it sounds so serious kalau x jaga betul2..saya ingat hanya ppuan bersalin je akan alami bentan..ppuan gugur is free from that..but i was so wrong..both can be so dangerous..and that night I got called from my cousins, friends, and aunties suh I take full rest..and mcm biasa minah sorang ni mudah sgt menangis..sambil mak urut perut saya, air mata saya tak henti2 keluar..my mom keep on saying.."jgn nangis dik..mak ada ni"...mak pujuk saya saying dia akn temankn saya dkt putrajaya..so I was a lil bit relief...

The next day, bila along semua da balik johor..tinggal lah saya dgn mak..I got my first massage after my miscarriage..sakitnye lah hai😅😅😅..alhamdulillah I got a bit better..but then, ptg tu I saw my mom face sgt pucat..dan dia senyap je haritu..dia selalu cakap dia nak tidur..and she was always in the room sleeping..with the pain, I still make her food and hot drinks..and time to time akan jenguk dia dlm bilik..dia masih tidur..saya da mula rasa tak sedap hati..

Tgh malam tu, saya nampak ada selonggok kain cadar and baju dia..saya tanye mak kenapa..and she told me she was peeing on the bed..Mak tak larat nak pergi ke tandas..saya lagi rasa x sedap hati..and saya rasa tangan dan muka dia..semuanya sejuk..again I make her food to eat and give her medicine...again she fall asleep..
Esoknya awal pagi saya masuk bilik dia..dia ckp dkt saya, "dik, mak duk sini patutnya jagakan awak..tp mak betul2 tak larat..mak takut awak risau..tp awak panggilkan lh ambulan..mak tak larat..mak nak masuk hospital..tak pun awk minta tlg kwn2 awk..tlg dik"..masa tu baru saya tau mmg mak betul2 tak tahan sakit sbb selalunya mak xkan sebut nak pergi hospital kalau dia boleh bertahan..i was holding back my tears..saya tahan air mata saya..I was tremendously blur what should I do..saya just bgtau dia u dont have to worry..i will settle it for u..

Masuk bilik saya, saya nangis puas2 dulu..hahaha..i always a crybaby..nak kumpul tenaga, kekuatan saya kena nangis dulu..then only saya bole berfikir..I wassap my friend..He suggested me to call JPAM..so I called jpam asap and asked them to get ready whithin 1 hour to take my mom to IJN...

Allah tau cmne sakit nye saya ketika itu, badan saya sgt bisa..luka operation pun sgt pedih..but U know the feeling..bila kita tgk mak kita sakit..terlantar atas katil dgn kepayahan utk menarik dan menghembuskn nafas nya..xnak makan..xnak minum..I was thinking that day itself...go to hell with my pain..Whatever it takes, I will safe my mom's life today..I need to be strong..put away my pain..put away my tears..

Ambulance came and there we were, in IJN...mom's blood pressure sooo soooo low...until she needs penjagaan rapi dari doctors..and the doctors asked me to agreed to transfer her to HKl as she has another compilation from her stomach..I was begging the doc to transfer her to Putrajaya..tp doc ckp takut tak sempat..her life is in danger..again saya tahan air mata..

Whosever call me that time asking how is my mom..I just told them mom is ok and stable..I was quite blur nak explain semuanya sekali..as I am having so much pain dalam perut saya..saya doa byk2 kuatkn saya utk kuatkn ibu saya..nottingelse..saya tak tahan sgt sakit tapi saya xde pilihan..except utk redah aje..

5 days mom in HKL..5 hari jgk saya ulang alik dr putrajaya ke HKL..balik rumah, malam2 nangis..hahaha..whosever read this must know how crybaby I am...but I was so much pain and tired..mentally and physically...now alhamdulillah, she is getting better..apa saya nak tulis dkt sini ialah mother will always be a mother...cmne dia nak bg kekuatan utk saya yg sedang sakit..sanggup sembunyikan dan ketepikan segala kesakitan yg dialami..hanya utk berada di samping anaknya yg sakit..is realllllly reallllyyy amazing...masyaAllah...bless her Allah..please bless her..grant her the highest Jannah...padamkan api neraka utknya...Aamiin...she always be that way so since I was kid..and till now masyaAllah, dia masih seperti itu..

Happy Mothers Day Mom...walaupun saya kehilangan my baby..dan masih belum ada rezeki utk merasai kenikmatan menjadi seorang ibu, in fact saya tak faham pun bagaimana kasih syg seorang ibu..the unconditional love..Saya tetap bersyukur sehingga sekarang saya masih berpeluang merasai kenikmatan menjadi seorang anak yg masih lagi bole menikmati kasih syg dari seorang ibu...Alhamdulillah..and to those yg ibunya tlh meninggal dunia...u guys are really amazingggg..my utmost respect to u yg kuat jalani hidup tanpa ibu😭😭😭

As I always said, I am not a good daughter..never been good enough to u, mom...but my best prayer always goes to u..my priority, my care and my attention...always for u..

Love u mom,
From ur second daughter, Adik...

Till we meet again my blog
Assalamualaikum

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog

Ini cerita pasal "Farah, the chaiwala girl"

Ada satu benda yg boleh membanggakan saya sebagai 'indian wife' adalah my indian tea...ha dont role your eyes yet🙄🙄🙄...to be honest, saya amek masa bertahun utk master buat teh ni...it could be easy to some people..tapi as for me, nak dapatkan high-end taste of indian tea yg satisfied ramai tetamu (especially di kalangan my indian friends) bukanlah mudah...sampailah one of my indian fren ckp kat saya.."farah, u make tea much more tasty than other indians"...time tu rasa mcm menang program masterchef...ok over...😬😬😬

Sblm kahwin my husband dah fully aware yg bakal bini dia mmg x
pandai masak..so smpi ke hari ni laki saya duk ungkit yg segala jasa baik dia lah yg membuatkan saya pandai masak..hahahah..iyekan ajelah..da mmg betul pun..so that was the first time i masak air teh ni..kenapa i am using the word 'masak'..mmg kena masak pun..air, susu,buah pelaga bunga cengkih, daun selasih, serbuk teh..semua dicampurkan dalam periuk sampi dia mendidih atas stove..seumur hidup saya buat air teh, caranya simple je..amek uncang teh taruk dlm cawan, bubuh gula, curah air panas..siap!!!😎

Saya paling letih buat indian tea ni..n husband saya jenis yg kena minum tiap2 hari..nak balance kan rasa dgn teh dan susu tu payahnyaaaa lahai...saya pulak mmg caffein-free person..allergi dgn caffein..so frust gila nak kena buat teh tiap2 hari..so nak jadikan cerita, kami ada kawan India yg mmg rapat dgn kami dari sblm kahwin, sampailah sekarang..dan mereka duduk di Alkharj, sejam lebih dari Riyadh..tiap2 cuti sekolah mereka sekeluarga akan dtg lepak di rumah kami..so as usual, time depa dtg saya pun baru terkial2 nak masak air teh utk depa..dan saya selalu nervous bila nak kena hidangkan air teh utk drg smua ni..awatlah depa ni xreti minum kopi 434..kan senang keje aku..so wife dia pun masuk dapur..borak2 smbil tgk saya masak air ni..rasa mcm nak halau je suh dia duk depan..gabra gila nak buat..sehari dia perhati je cara saya buat..masuk dua hari dia sound sikit suh saya kurangkan serbuk teh..masuk hari ketiga mayb dia da xtahan tgk cara saya masak air ni, dia pun bersuara "u know what farah, let me teach u how to make tea"..hahahhaha..agaknya time depa minum air teh dua hari tu cmne lah rasanya ek..😅😅😅

Then dia tunjukkan cara saya masak air teh yg betul...so sejak dari haritu, saya mmg sentiasa ikut cara dia sampai ke hari ni..and walllllaaaaaaa..sampai skang, saya selalu dapat pujian dr ramai org.."ur tea is really nice,farah"😎😎😎...kalau kwn2 suami saya duk lepak dkt rumah..drg akan request saya utk buat teh lagi dan lagi..and ada kawan kami dari bangladesh, time saya bertandang ke rumah dia...perlahan2 wife dia tarik tangan saya ajak ke dapur...dgn broken english dia suruh saya ajar dia masak air teh yg selalu saya hidangkan utk mereka..time tu rasa mcm nak bkk warung teh pulak lepas ni..ok over lagi...😬😬😬

My tasty tea continues to my hometown..my little brother selalu suruh saya masakkan indian tea utk dia..dan dia selalu kutuk tak sedap tapi bergelas2 dia akan minum..hahaha i know that is how he shows his love towards me..and my cousins, uncles, aunties akan request my tea kalau dtg rumah saya..drg siap belikn susu segar bwk ke rumah saya..

(The pic shows how I 'masak' air teh ni..and also me taking pic with kakak yg ajarkan saya how to make this tea..she was sitting on the most left..)

As usual, penulisan saya pasal teh ni bknlah nak bragging about how good my tea is..xde pun yg nak dibanggakan sgt..but if u want to win indian's heart, start with a cup of tea..i know tak penting pun utk kita org melayu..tapi saya sebagai indian wife..ianya sgt penting..balik kampung, pagi teh, ptg teh, bertandang rumah org pun minum teh..kiranya nak dptkn title good indian wife tu bknlah yg pandai masak beriyani tp yg pandai buat air teh...hahahaha..gurau je..[偷笑][偷笑][偷笑]

When I said indian tea, it means tea with milk...MILK..milk tu sgt wajib..satu hari tgh lepak2 dgn kwn2 suami, saya tanyakan pd mereka, why u always drink tea with milk..tak mcm org mesia, kita selalu minum teh O je tanpa susu..then one of them terangkan..di India SUSU melambangkan status seseorang..kalau kamu dtg rumah seseorang, dan mereka hidangkan teh O itu melambangkan kemiskinan seseorang (unlike english people..mereka ada 'kelas' mereka sendiri dgn minum black tea..sbb tu kt market byk jual 'english-tea')..but for us, as we know, susu kan harganya sgt mahal..so faham2 sndirlah kan..oh lagi satu, mereka gunakan fresh milk ye..susu segar..tak main susu creamer atau susu sejat mahupun susu manis..tu sbb kalu tgk citer hindustan ada karakter pakcik tua angkut botol kaca yg diisi air susu atas kepala dia..drg akan supply susu segar tiap2 hari dari rumah ke rumah..tp kampung suami saya ada lembu ternakan..so our milk is segar terus dari ladang😂

Ok its almost 5pm..its about tea time..its my time to masuk dapur buat teh..aiyaaaaa😭😭😭😭

Picture shown around 3 tahun lps how I enjoyed street tea..yg minum pakai bekas yg dibuat dr tanah liat..da habes minum pecahkan saje bekasnya di tepi jalan..and also my morning breakfast dkt kampung suami..n of course with hot milk tea)

(Oh next time kita cerita pasal pisau-bengali knife..kalau i rajin ye)

Till we meet again, my blog!
Assalamualaikum...

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog

Ini cerita pasal "Doa"

DOA

Bila cerita pasal doa..saya teringat kisah saya masa awal2 semester diploma dulu..dlm kelas English, lecture ni suruh sorang2 perkenalkan diri dan sebutkan satu strength/kekuatan dalam diri..saya sgt blur tak tau nak jawab apa..saya dgr sorang2 jawab "friendly", "honest", "responsible", "patient" dan mcm2 lg lh jawapan biasa sebagai kekuatan dlm diri mereka..semua jawapan da disebut so saya da xde idea lain nak bagi..bila turn saya, saya sgt panik terus tanpa fikir saya jawab "doa"..lecturer tu tanya lagi.."ur strenght is doa?"..."yes my strentgh is my prayer..my doa"...satu kelas krik..krik..krik..😷..dushhh malunya🙈..lecturer tu pun terdiam..dlm hati I curse myself..what I was thinking..jawablah jawapan klise mcm kwn2 ko tu..jwpn biasa yg time ko pergi interview..then the lecturer said.."ok farah..no problem..still a good answer"..da lps tu ramai kwn2 panggil saya ustazah..duhhhh🤣

Well let us put aside the story, to me indeed everyone's strength should be their own prayer..Doa..dlm doa itulah adanya harapan, kekuatan, pasrah, dan keredhaan..however this entry saya taknak cerita pasal doa saya..tapi saya nak cerita pasal doa UNTUK saya..doa dari NON-MUSLIM utk saya..dr org yg bukan agama Islam..

Sehingga sekarang saya betul2 terkesan dgn dua org beautiful non-muslim lady yg doa kan saya..first, it happened 4-5 tahun yg lalu..one lady dr Iran..agama yg dia pegang adalah..Bahai Faith..saya pun tak sgt aware pasal agama ni..tp di Iran ramai penganut agama ni selain syiah...dia dan suaminya adalah jiran kami di Segamat..first time jumpa, kami jemput dia dtg untuk berhari raya..so kenal2 mcm biasa and we exchange story..so she was asking me "how long u have been married..do u have children?".."almost 6 years..no, I havent"..berair matanya..she said, "I understand the feeling..I was struggling too to get a baby after so many years"..anyway,dia ada seorang anak slps lama berkahwin..

The next day, dia terjumpa my sister..she told her "I cannot sleep last nite..I was thinking for ur sister, Farah..and my heart felt for her..I cannot help myself from praying for her the whole night..I told my God, please give her children..dont do this to her"..she was getting emotional while telling the story to my sister..then later, kakak saya ceritakan pd saya..and I was like speechless..touched..honoured dgn hati dia..dgn doa dia..sgt ikhlas..sgt jujur..I mean a prayer from Non-muslim..what can u expect more???..masyaAllah..we dont even share the same belief..faith..and moreover than that..our God..but still dia doakan saya dgn kepercayaan dia sendiri meminta pd Tuhannya..how can I deny..?..sebagai balasan saya hanya minta Allah bg hidayah pd mereka sekeluarga..Aamiin..

The second doa is also from Non-muslim chinese lady yg beragama kristian..kami terjumpa dkt IJN masa my mom masuk hospital..she was one of pesakit kat sana..usia dia sudah menjangkau 70+...tapi masih kelihatan muda..dia duduk sebelah saya..dia pinjam telefon saya utk call kawan dia..lps tu kami pun berborak panjang..saya tanya dia.."auntie give me some advice..how can u become so strong without husband and children"...dia tanya saya balik.."u married farah?".."yes i am".."any children?".."not yet"..."everbody has test in life..u've been test with no children by God and me with this illness which I suffered years after years...what most important to remain positive..is from here and here"...dia tunjukkan jari dia di kepala dan hati dia..dia sambung lagi " kita kena selalu positif dan doa pd Tuhan to show some magic..atau miracle..I was budhist then I convert myself to Christian..selepas kawan saya ajak saya berdoa di Church utk penyakit saya ini..dan Tuhan benar2 bg kesembuhan..which the docs also sgt terkejut..sbb tu saya tukar agama ke kristian"..tekun saya mendengar cerita dia..but i was impress with her inner strength..i wish dpt kekuatan mcm dia ketika berdoa pd Allah..[委屈][委屈][委屈]

Soon, my mom came from bilik doctor..its about my time to leave..i say goodbye to that chinese auntie..dia nak say a few words to me.."farah come here..let me pray for u.."..saya dtg dekat dgn dia and dia terus sentuh perut saya..dia terus berdoa dgn suara yg kuat dan emosional..aduhhh..[惊讶][惊讶][惊讶]...panik kejap saya sbb dlm klinik tu penuh dgn org ramai..saya nampak semua mata tertumpu pada kami..its really awkward situation..bayangkan seorang perempuan dgn jubah dan tudung hitam..didoakn oleh seorang auntie cina yg rambutnya perang dan bermekap tebal dan juga dgn nada yg kuat..sambil tutup mata penuh penghayatan dia berdoa "oh Jesus, oh my lord..in this pleasant day I met with this girl named Farah..please Jesus..please grant this lady a whish to have a children..please have mercy on her..give her strength..give her what she asked for..make her a chance to become a mother..etc..etc..etc.."..saya terkial2 cari jalan suruh dia berhenti..tp saya rasa mcm xde adab pula..so saya biarkan saja dia doakan saya..tp dalam hati saya sungguh2 terharu...melihat kesungguhan dia dalam berdoa..

Again, a prayer from Non-muslim to me...how can I deny?...mana mungkin saya mampu untuk menolak..untuk menghalang mereka mendoakan saya...iye mmg betul...kepercayaan mereka..kepercayaan saya..BERBEZA tapi yg MENYAMAKAN mereka dan saya adalah DOA..doa adalah satu2 nya harapan buat mereka dan saya..kami ditakdirkan berjumpa oleh Allah s.w.t dan apa yg menghubungkn ikatan antara kami yg berlainan agama adalah 'DOA'...Subhanallah..saya tak sangka saya masih lg berpeluang jumpa dgn all this beautiful people..Alhamdulillah..

Kekuatan saya masih terletak pd doa..and to those two beautiul lady..doa saya pd Allah agar kurniakan hidayah utk mereka..Aamiin[快哭了][快哭了]

After all its all about Habluminallah...
Its all about Habluminnas..
😉😉😉😉

Till we meet again, my blog

Assalamualaikum

#coretanblog
#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#thepowerofdoa

Ini cerita pasal "Woman of Leisure"

There is one day in Putrajaya..saya sorang2 pergi sarapan nearby kedai makan dkt rumah saya..saya da kenal owner kedai tu sbb da jadi regular customer dia..pagi tu kakak owner tu senyum and say.."here it come, the woman of leisure"...dia tau saya surirumah..suami da balik saudi...pagi2 leisurely dtg ke kedai dia makan soto and kopi panas..take my own sweet time borak2 ngn kakak2 kt sana..then if I got bored, saya akan ke Alamanda watch movie pula just to kill the time..

Jujurnya..saya tak suka perkataan "woman of leisure" tu digelar utk saya..saya takut sgt dgn perkataan tu..saya ingat lg it happened tahun lepas, saya tinggal sorang2 jgk dkt Putrajaya..tiba2 ada satu perasaan menyelinap dlm diri saya..satu perasaan yg sgt menakutkn..tiba2 saya takut akan 'keselesaan' ni smua..Mlm tu mcm biasa saya call suami saya..saya menangis..saya mengadu dkt dia.."i am scared with all this comfortness..who am I to deserve this kind of life"...saya rasa mcm x layak..saya dgr byk kali drp ramai org..samada dgn nada sindir atau keluhan ataupun nada simpati.."farah, I wish to have your life"..."u r so lucky, semua da suami sediakan..and u dont have to work..no need to take care of children".."u can do wuteva u want to do"..Please, dont say that..setiap dari kita ada ceritanya sendiri..the untold story..you and me..smua ada cerita kita..so tlg jgn nilai sesama kita..Did u know, semua kenyataan atau ayat ni sbnrye killing me..saya rasa takut sgt dgr smua ni..

Saya ada terdengar dlm satu ceramah "salah satu tanda Allah sayang kita..adalah dgn cara Allah menggunakan kita..menggunakan masa kita"...Allah s.w.t. akn bg kita masa terluang utk kita dekatkn dgn Dia..Allah taala takkan sebukkan kan kita dgn kerja2 dunia..supaya kita sentiasa ada masa utk ke masjid, solat jemaah, dgr kuliah dhuha, maghrib, ada masa utk baca quran..dan apa jua ibadat sekalipun..itulah tanda Allah sayang kn kita..Wallahu 'alam..

Allahu akbar
Astaghfirullah...
(Fabiaiyi ala irabbikuma tukazziban)

Bila saya teringat kata2 ustaz tu..Wallahi, saya takut..sbb tu saya call suami saya menangis..saya takut dgn kelapangan masa yg saya ada..saya sgt2 emosional..i know m not a good person..iman saya byk turun dr naik..saya takut dgn keselesaan tipu daya dunia yg saya ada..saya takut dgn nikmat yg Allah bg ni saya tak guna dgn sebaiknya..sbb tu saya tak suka dgr org gelar saya "woman of leisure"..cmne saya nak jawab dgn Allah masa2 terluang/leisure saya gunakan ke arah mana..wallahi..I dont want to stuck berejam2 with reading books, playing games, phones, facebook, insta, wassap, smule, or even play with my artwork.,wallahi saya takut..

Berbeza dgn org yg ada kerjaya, saya tak tahu kalau mereka jadikan itu alasan sebagai satu sebab mereka tidak ada masa utk meluangkn masa ke jalanNya..saya tak nak tahu pun apa jua alasan mereka..yg saya takutkn adalah diri saya yg mempunyai BANYAK masa..ya, sbgai suri rumah saya ada banyak masa..especially duduk di Saudi..and despite it all...I am getting much more sad for my illness yg buat saya stuck dgn dunia saya sendiri!!!!!..Allahu Akbar..wut more i can do...saya hanya baca 2 juzuk quran dlm masa 10 hari..wallahi itu pun sebab saya join group khatam quran beramai2 dlm wasap..kalau tidak???harammmmmm nak baca quran..astaghfirullah..

Kenapa saya tulis smua ni?

4 years back, saya pernah bgtau suami saya..."this world is so big, but why I am still feel small..I feel like I am staying in my own world..I stuck in it..I dont know what happened outside..but I feel this world is a scary place to live...I couldnt get peace of mind living here..I wish to exchange whatever we have just to get a lil bit mental peace..Wallahi I dont need money, wealth, and status...wallahi I just need peaceful mind, heart and soul"...

Astagfirullah...

4 years back, saya pernah rasa kosong..jiwa saya kosong..hati saya kosong..that is the time saya rasa kehilangan..lost in everything..even I got enough money, wealth, education and wutsoever u named it..but still I feel the emptiness..satu keluarga try very hard nak 'hidupkan' saya semula..saya xnak keluar tgk dunia..and I got more tense bila org tanya lagi kt saya kenapa tak pergi Mekkah and Madinah..kan dah dekat..saya sedih sgt dgn soalan2 cmni..wallahi u dont know apa yg saya hadapi..sampai sekarang saya masih lagi struggling..tapi Alhamdulillah saya syukur Allah uji saya dgn perasaan ini..sampai ke hari ini saya syukur sgt2 Allah tiupkn saya perasaan "kosong" dan "kehilangan" ini..otherwise, I am not what I am today..maybe that is the reason semua penulisan saya byk yg berbentuk emosional and sensetif..I have notting to lose anymore..and also notting more to ask..kecuali perasaan "kosong" yg selama ni saya rasakn akan diganti dgn perasaan "berat" yg saya fikir it could help me utk jawab dgn Allah di kemudian hari..insyaAllah..Aamiin..

So please, please stop calling me "woman of leisure"..apa saya nak jawab dgn Allah nanti???

Its really killing me...

I seek forgiveness from You O'Almighty..

Till we meet again, my blog!

Assalamualaikum...

#coretanblog
#mirageindesery
#fromdesertwithlove
#menahansakit

Ini cerita pasal cobra vs Mongoose

(Before I write, I want to give highlight here..SEMUA penulisan saya adalah dr pemikiran saya sendiri...I observe-->I analyse-->I learnt-->I write..semua pengalaman dan pandangan dlm penulisan saya adalah dr diri saya sendiri yg byk kelemahan..yg cuba utk betulkan dan ingatkan diri sendiri..mungkin u will see my writing ada unsur riak mahupun buka pekung sendiri..wallahi saya tiada niat langsung utk show-off..writing itself is an art..really abstract..how the readers view or interprete..i have notting to do with them..itu hak mereka utk nilaikan...tp setiap penulisan bukanlah menjadikan si penulis itu PERFECT..tidak..it just kebebasan utk interpretasi kan idea dan luahan hati..and saya salurkn dlm bentuk penulisan..dan again itu smua dtg dr saya yg penuh dosa dan kelemahan..wallahu Alam..)

So lets begin....

Hari ni saya tgk National Geography mengenai Cobra and Mongoose...fakta mengenai dua haiwan ni adalah seperti kita ketahui Ular Tedung (cobra) mempunyai racun yang boleh bunuh manusia/haiwan dalam masa 30min...tapi racun cobra ni langsung tak 'makan saman' dgn mongoose ni (saya tak tau menatang ni apa nama dia dalam bahasa melayu)..bdn mongoose ini immune dgn racun cobra..sebab tu cobra paling takut dgn :manusia dan mongoose...

As for me...it is something new..saya quite impress dgn fakta ni bila saya tgk pasal dua menatang ni bergaduh dalam semak..how scared this cobra ni cuba untuk escape..beza sgt sblm ni si cobra berjaya membunuh seekor RUSA..Saiz rusa dan mongoose ni pun da jauh beza..tp cmne mongoose ni boleh "menundukkan" raja ular ni..subhanallah..really amazing...

Put aside the story..apa yg saya pelajari..subhanallah..kejadian Allah..Allah ciptakan makhlukNya PASTI ada kelemahan masing2..EVERY EACH CREATURE..pasti ada kelemahan..u think u r perfect...Ada org lagi perfect..u think u r strong..ada org lg strong..u think u r rich..ada org lg rich..

Then suami saya bercerita masa tgk tv td, kejadian dia bergaduh dgn pak arab berebut parking sebulan yg lepas..suami saya da menunggu sebuah kereta utk keluar dr parking hampir 5 min dan tiba2 ada sebuah kenderaan besar GMC dgn selamba curi parking tu..I mean standard lah kan kalu kta tgh tunggu giliran nak dptkan parking..pasang signal awal2..dan tunggu kt tepi..it is enough sign yg kita da "cop" parking tersebut..tp pak arab ni dr arah belakang melulu je curi parking tu..dgn cuaca 45 degrees hati tgh panas terus dia keluar dr kereta menuju ke kereta pak arab td..mereka bertekak sedikit dan akhirnya suami saya mengalah..suami saya belah sbb tgk dr saiz pak arab tu dua kali ganda dr saiz dia..

At last dia terpaksa parking sebelah tong sampah..time nak ke ofis tu, pak arab td terjerit2 dr belakang ckp bahasa arab suruh suami saya stop..dia terus pegang tangan suami saya..suami saya nak lari sbb sgt terkejut..tp lagi terkejut sbb tetiba dia salam n cium tgn suami saya ckp.."Malish..malish...&£@#$¥...$€>%^$$¥ dlm bahasa arab yg suami saya pun tak faham.." ..dr jauh suami saya nampak seorang wanita tua dalam kereta terjerit-jerit marahkan pak arab td..pak arab td keep on repeating sorry..sorry..baru suami saya faham yg si ibu sedang marahkan anaknya sebab berkelakuan kasar pd suami saya td..

Macam kisah cobra and mongoose td...

How big u are..you and me..maksud saya...Allah pasti akan temukan dgn somebody atau something yg boleh menundukkan dia...dalam kisah ini..pak arab td umurnya sudah hampir cecah 50an..berbadan besar..hidup mewah...hidup seperti king cobra yg ingin menundukkan semua orang..tp akhirnya yg melemahkannya adalah ibunya sendiri...how his mom ajar anaknya walaupun anaknya sudah tua bangka...subhanallah..mcm buku bertemu ruas..you are still a small boy in front of your mom, man!!!

Ok lets go into a lil bit sentimental mode...

Somebody said i am immature..tak matang..susah nak berfikir dgn bijak..tindakan lebih kepada emosi..I agreed that..totally agreed..but I have you to teach me to be better kan?...utk tunjuk ajar saya..utk marah saya..utk tundukkan saya..we dont have to be like cobra and mongoose..we are not rival to each other...kita bukan dlm pertandingan pun nak decide who win and who lose..siapa hidup siapa mati..it just like i said..setiap kejadian yg Allah jadikan pasti ada kelemahan..you, me,she,he..everyone..dan Allah pasti akan temukan kita dgn somebody or something utk betulkan kita..baiknya Allah..and tadaaaaa....I still have you to teach me kan...masyaAllah..

I dont ask more..just a lil bit patient and tolerance..ya, kita xperlu jd mcm dua menatang tu tp kita bole jd mcm pak arab td dgn ibunya..how old pak arab td tp dia masih belajar dr kesilapan dia..in fact dia tak malu utk minta maaf..dia lagi mulia dr kita semua..same goes like me..i am 32 years old..I know I am a lil bit old to called as immature..but still i can learn...still it is not too late kan..still I will do mistake..still I will say sorry..still i will repeat the mistake and again say sorry..hahahaha..hampeh ko farah..bila masa nak benti nya..

No no seriusly..i cannot be perfect..maybe I am a lit bitttttt(?) degil..😅😅😅...but saya sukaaaaa sgt belajar dr kesilapan saya..saya tak kisah dibetulkan..i will be like a cat who got scolded dgn tuan nya..akan duduk di tepi penjuru bilik..cry and realize...but then still i love it..it revive myself to be a better person...and saya tertanya2 cmne saya bila saya umur 50 tahun nnt kan..selepas saya buat salah, belajar, dan buat salah lagi..belajar lagi..i mean what would I be bila da cecah 50...cmne pemikiran saya..camne perlakuan saya..can I teach anak cucu dr kesilapan2 yg saya pernah buat dl..kalau saya tak buat salah mungkin saya tak bole nak ajar anak cucu saya dr kesilapan saya tu kan..entahlah ek..lets see..hehehe ke depan sgt ko berfikir kan macik..

(Allah lagi suka kalau kita buat salah dan mengaku salah dan bertaubat drp org yang x buat salah dan x pernah bertaubat)

Goodnite peeps
Till we meet again, my blog

Assalamualaikum