It almost happened 2 months...but it still ringing in my mind like it was happened yesterday...
Jangan lagi mak..jangan lagi...😥😥😥
2 days before it happened, saya masih dalam pantang..mom was supposed to go back to Johor dgn along esoknya..but suddenly I was so much in pain..I can remember, masa tu kawan saya yg juga doctor di Hospital Putrajaya, dtg ziarah saya di rumah..and I was like so much eager to share my pain with her..so I told her I was having so much pain at that place where I got my surgery..dan dia ckp, dalam rahim tu sepatutnya tak kan sakit..kalau sakit it could be something wrong..I think u got "bentan" ni..and I was like so much panic bila dgr perkataan tu..a doctor bila da ckp cmtu siapa lah yg xpanic..and that night I was having mild fever..seluruh badan menggigil..and I couldnt tolerate with the pain..Sakit sgt..so I was checking in internet what is bentan..and it sounds so serious kalau x jaga betul2..saya ingat hanya ppuan bersalin je akan alami bentan..ppuan gugur is free from that..but i was so wrong..both can be so dangerous..and that night I got called from my cousins, friends, and aunties suh I take full rest..and mcm biasa minah sorang ni mudah sgt menangis..sambil mak urut perut saya, air mata saya tak henti2 keluar..my mom keep on saying.."jgn nangis dik..mak ada ni"...mak pujuk saya saying dia akn temankn saya dkt putrajaya..so I was a lil bit relief...
The next day, bila along semua da balik johor..tinggal lah saya dgn mak..I got my first massage after my miscarriage..sakitnye lah hai😅😅😅..alhamdulillah I got a bit better..but then, ptg tu I saw my mom face sgt pucat..dan dia senyap je haritu..dia selalu cakap dia nak tidur..and she was always in the room sleeping..with the pain, I still make her food and hot drinks..and time to time akan jenguk dia dlm bilik..dia masih tidur..saya da mula rasa tak sedap hati..
Tgh malam tu, saya nampak ada selonggok kain cadar and baju dia..saya tanye mak kenapa..and she told me she was peeing on the bed..Mak tak larat nak pergi ke tandas..saya lagi rasa x sedap hati..and saya rasa tangan dan muka dia..semuanya sejuk..again I make her food to eat and give her medicine...again she fall asleep..
Esoknya awal pagi saya masuk bilik dia..dia ckp dkt saya, "dik, mak duk sini patutnya jagakan awak..tp mak betul2 tak larat..mak takut awak risau..tp awak panggilkan lh ambulan..mak tak larat..mak nak masuk hospital..tak pun awk minta tlg kwn2 awk..tlg dik"..masa tu baru saya tau mmg mak betul2 tak tahan sakit sbb selalunya mak xkan sebut nak pergi hospital kalau dia boleh bertahan..i was holding back my tears..saya tahan air mata saya..I was tremendously blur what should I do..saya just bgtau dia u dont have to worry..i will settle it for u..
Masuk bilik saya, saya nangis puas2 dulu..hahaha..i always a crybaby..nak kumpul tenaga, kekuatan saya kena nangis dulu..then only saya bole berfikir..I wassap my friend..He suggested me to call JPAM..so I called jpam asap and asked them to get ready whithin 1 hour to take my mom to IJN...
Allah tau cmne sakit nye saya ketika itu, badan saya sgt bisa..luka operation pun sgt pedih..but U know the feeling..bila kita tgk mak kita sakit..terlantar atas katil dgn kepayahan utk menarik dan menghembuskn nafas nya..xnak makan..xnak minum..I was thinking that day itself...go to hell with my pain..Whatever it takes, I will safe my mom's life today..I need to be strong..put away my pain..put away my tears..
Ambulance came and there we were, in IJN...mom's blood pressure sooo soooo low...until she needs penjagaan rapi dari doctors..and the doctors asked me to agreed to transfer her to HKl as she has another compilation from her stomach..I was begging the doc to transfer her to Putrajaya..tp doc ckp takut tak sempat..her life is in danger..again saya tahan air mata..
Whosever call me that time asking how is my mom..I just told them mom is ok and stable..I was quite blur nak explain semuanya sekali..as I am having so much pain dalam perut saya..saya doa byk2 kuatkn saya utk kuatkn ibu saya..nottingelse..saya tak tahan sgt sakit tapi saya xde pilihan..except utk redah aje..
5 days mom in HKL..5 hari jgk saya ulang alik dr putrajaya ke HKL..balik rumah, malam2 nangis..hahaha..whosever read this must know how crybaby I am...but I was so much pain and tired..mentally and physically...now alhamdulillah, she is getting better..apa saya nak tulis dkt sini ialah mother will always be a mother...cmne dia nak bg kekuatan utk saya yg sedang sakit..sanggup sembunyikan dan ketepikan segala kesakitan yg dialami..hanya utk berada di samping anaknya yg sakit..is realllllly reallllyyy amazing...masyaAllah...bless her Allah..please bless her..grant her the highest Jannah...padamkan api neraka utknya...Aamiin...she always be that way so since I was kid..and till now masyaAllah, dia masih seperti itu..
Happy Mothers Day Mom...walaupun saya kehilangan my baby..dan masih belum ada rezeki utk merasai kenikmatan menjadi seorang ibu, in fact saya tak faham pun bagaimana kasih syg seorang ibu..the unconditional love..Saya tetap bersyukur sehingga sekarang saya masih berpeluang merasai kenikmatan menjadi seorang anak yg masih lagi bole menikmati kasih syg dari seorang ibu...Alhamdulillah..and to those yg ibunya tlh meninggal dunia...u guys are really amazingggg..my utmost respect to u yg kuat jalani hidup tanpa ibuðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
As I always said, I am not a good daughter..never been good enough to u, mom...but my best prayer always goes to u..my priority, my care and my attention...always for u..
Love u mom,
From ur second daughter, Adik...
Till we meet again my blog
Assalamualaikum
#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog
Jangan lagi mak..jangan lagi...😥😥😥
2 days before it happened, saya masih dalam pantang..mom was supposed to go back to Johor dgn along esoknya..but suddenly I was so much in pain..I can remember, masa tu kawan saya yg juga doctor di Hospital Putrajaya, dtg ziarah saya di rumah..and I was like so much eager to share my pain with her..so I told her I was having so much pain at that place where I got my surgery..dan dia ckp, dalam rahim tu sepatutnya tak kan sakit..kalau sakit it could be something wrong..I think u got "bentan" ni..and I was like so much panic bila dgr perkataan tu..a doctor bila da ckp cmtu siapa lah yg xpanic..and that night I was having mild fever..seluruh badan menggigil..and I couldnt tolerate with the pain..Sakit sgt..so I was checking in internet what is bentan..and it sounds so serious kalau x jaga betul2..saya ingat hanya ppuan bersalin je akan alami bentan..ppuan gugur is free from that..but i was so wrong..both can be so dangerous..and that night I got called from my cousins, friends, and aunties suh I take full rest..and mcm biasa minah sorang ni mudah sgt menangis..sambil mak urut perut saya, air mata saya tak henti2 keluar..my mom keep on saying.."jgn nangis dik..mak ada ni"...mak pujuk saya saying dia akn temankn saya dkt putrajaya..so I was a lil bit relief...
The next day, bila along semua da balik johor..tinggal lah saya dgn mak..I got my first massage after my miscarriage..sakitnye lah hai😅😅😅..alhamdulillah I got a bit better..but then, ptg tu I saw my mom face sgt pucat..dan dia senyap je haritu..dia selalu cakap dia nak tidur..and she was always in the room sleeping..with the pain, I still make her food and hot drinks..and time to time akan jenguk dia dlm bilik..dia masih tidur..saya da mula rasa tak sedap hati..
Tgh malam tu, saya nampak ada selonggok kain cadar and baju dia..saya tanye mak kenapa..and she told me she was peeing on the bed..Mak tak larat nak pergi ke tandas..saya lagi rasa x sedap hati..and saya rasa tangan dan muka dia..semuanya sejuk..again I make her food to eat and give her medicine...again she fall asleep..
Esoknya awal pagi saya masuk bilik dia..dia ckp dkt saya, "dik, mak duk sini patutnya jagakan awak..tp mak betul2 tak larat..mak takut awak risau..tp awak panggilkan lh ambulan..mak tak larat..mak nak masuk hospital..tak pun awk minta tlg kwn2 awk..tlg dik"..masa tu baru saya tau mmg mak betul2 tak tahan sakit sbb selalunya mak xkan sebut nak pergi hospital kalau dia boleh bertahan..i was holding back my tears..saya tahan air mata saya..I was tremendously blur what should I do..saya just bgtau dia u dont have to worry..i will settle it for u..
Masuk bilik saya, saya nangis puas2 dulu..hahaha..i always a crybaby..nak kumpul tenaga, kekuatan saya kena nangis dulu..then only saya bole berfikir..I wassap my friend..He suggested me to call JPAM..so I called jpam asap and asked them to get ready whithin 1 hour to take my mom to IJN...
Allah tau cmne sakit nye saya ketika itu, badan saya sgt bisa..luka operation pun sgt pedih..but U know the feeling..bila kita tgk mak kita sakit..terlantar atas katil dgn kepayahan utk menarik dan menghembuskn nafas nya..xnak makan..xnak minum..I was thinking that day itself...go to hell with my pain..Whatever it takes, I will safe my mom's life today..I need to be strong..put away my pain..put away my tears..
Ambulance came and there we were, in IJN...mom's blood pressure sooo soooo low...until she needs penjagaan rapi dari doctors..and the doctors asked me to agreed to transfer her to HKl as she has another compilation from her stomach..I was begging the doc to transfer her to Putrajaya..tp doc ckp takut tak sempat..her life is in danger..again saya tahan air mata..
Whosever call me that time asking how is my mom..I just told them mom is ok and stable..I was quite blur nak explain semuanya sekali..as I am having so much pain dalam perut saya..saya doa byk2 kuatkn saya utk kuatkn ibu saya..nottingelse..saya tak tahan sgt sakit tapi saya xde pilihan..except utk redah aje..
5 days mom in HKL..5 hari jgk saya ulang alik dr putrajaya ke HKL..balik rumah, malam2 nangis..hahaha..whosever read this must know how crybaby I am...but I was so much pain and tired..mentally and physically...now alhamdulillah, she is getting better..apa saya nak tulis dkt sini ialah mother will always be a mother...cmne dia nak bg kekuatan utk saya yg sedang sakit..sanggup sembunyikan dan ketepikan segala kesakitan yg dialami..hanya utk berada di samping anaknya yg sakit..is realllllly reallllyyy amazing...masyaAllah...bless her Allah..please bless her..grant her the highest Jannah...padamkan api neraka utknya...Aamiin...she always be that way so since I was kid..and till now masyaAllah, dia masih seperti itu..
Happy Mothers Day Mom...walaupun saya kehilangan my baby..dan masih belum ada rezeki utk merasai kenikmatan menjadi seorang ibu, in fact saya tak faham pun bagaimana kasih syg seorang ibu..the unconditional love..Saya tetap bersyukur sehingga sekarang saya masih berpeluang merasai kenikmatan menjadi seorang anak yg masih lagi bole menikmati kasih syg dari seorang ibu...Alhamdulillah..and to those yg ibunya tlh meninggal dunia...u guys are really amazingggg..my utmost respect to u yg kuat jalani hidup tanpa ibuðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
As I always said, I am not a good daughter..never been good enough to u, mom...but my best prayer always goes to u..my priority, my care and my attention...always for u..
Love u mom,
From ur second daughter, Adik...
Till we meet again my blog
Assalamualaikum
#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog
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