Ini cerita pasal pesanan buat adikku

To my lil brother...this words is specially for you...

There is the time I think about you almost everyday
There is the time I cry for you almost every night
There is the time I refuse to talk to you for months after months

Whatever emotion I had for you, there is no other reason but care and love for you

How I hope U can see the world in different way
There is so much other reason of living in this place
Yes,world can be so cruel to you
But there is still so much beautiful side
Dont hold yourself from discover it

Start living your life with bright hope
It still not too late and it will never be late
Just unlock your door and move on
We will hold your hand together if you still need us to do so

Our hope is notting to see our little one to be ours again

Just like before

From your big sister, Adik

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal EGO

Letakkan saya bersama org pemalu
Saya akan buatnye mesra
Letakkan saya bersama org pendiam
Saya akan buatnye berkata
Letakkan saya bersama org pemarah
Saya akan buatnye penyabar
Letakkan saya bersama org peramah
Saya akan buatnya pendengar
Tapi jangan letakkan saya bersama org yg ego
Saya tidak akan berbuat apa2

Saya akan biarkan mereka dengan ego mereka

Saya benci pada golongan yg ego
Golongan yang ingin sentiasa menang
Tiada maaf
Tiada toleransi
Tiada kasih sayang

Maaf.
I dont entertain these people.

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal IMAN

Tarik tali
It feels like I'm having thug of war with myself

To loose
To pull or
To hold

Dont even have guts to let it loose
Yet have no power to pull
Or do I need to hold it till it hurts?

O Almighty Allah
I seek for your forgiveness

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal RINDU

I WANNA hold ur hand
I STILL wanna hold ur hand
I NEED to hold ur hand
I really MISS to hold ur hand

Those were the days where u always hold our hands
Bring us hope, courage, and endless love
Nobody will do like u do
Nobody!!!

Now u r gone
Things has changed
People has changed
I can no longer pretending in front of them
I hate to pretend
Why cant i just be me?
But no...for their sake I have to pretend
With my deepest hope
That everything goin to be okay

M sorry
I have no longer be ur good girl as i used to be
But believe in me
I will come back to my old me
And this time I promise u there wud be no turning back for me

In jannah that is the place we will be
Much love, Atok
Miss u badly

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal RINDU

I WANNA hold ur hand
I STILL wanna hold ur hand
I NEED to hold ur hand
I really MISS to hold ur hand

Those were the days where u always hold our hands
Bring us hope, courage, and endless love
Nobody will do like u do
Nobody!!!

Now u r gone
Things has changed
People has changed
I can no longer pretending in front of them
I hate to pretend
Why cant i just be me?
But no...for their sake I have to pretend
With my deepest hope
That everything goin to be okay

M sorry
I have no longer be ur good girl as i used to be
But believe in me
I will come back to my old me
And this time I promise u there wud be no turning back for me

In jannah that is the place we will be
Much love, Atok
Miss u badly

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal something inevitable

Doesnt matter how much u sincere,  if u r nobody...u will remain nobody
Doesnt matter how much u care,
if u r nobody...u will remain nobody

How much u want to stay away from this feeling,
it will come back to u eventually

It is inevitable
Its beyond ur power
It will stuck with u forever

Huh!
Those whispers
Keep on luring you
Those words
Keep on insulting you

But just stop
To whom it may concern...

How much you are faking
I'm not naive as u think I used to be
I notice most of everything
One day my silence will be replacing me

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Its his birthday

Its 21st August
The day u were born
Yesterday I dreamt of u

My bad...
When U were still alive every year we celebrate
When U gone this date I almost forget

I never had a chance to say I am sorry
Never got guts to say I love u
That is my biggest regret
I have to carry for my whole life

I am sorry
Really I am
For everything
I Miss u badly

Alfatihah untuk ayah

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal India...Merdeka day!!!

Happy Independence Day India!!!

🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳

Suatu hari suami pernah tanya nak tukar nationality x jadi Indian

Saya just jawab go with the flow...

mana Allah nak letak rezeki kita...

mana yg lebih baik utk hari tua kita...

Malaysia atau India doesnt matter...

Saya sayang India...segalanya tentang India

Saya rindu pada suasana 'huruhara' di sana

Naik rickshaw(beca) sambil rasa simpati tgk tukang kayuh...tgn kaki serius tnggl tulang tp masih ada kudrat kayuh berejam2...masyaAllah

Berebut naik bas sambil pegang tgn suami ketat2 takut terlepas...n bila dapat tempat duduk rasa macam satu kemenangan...😭😭😭

Naik train 16jam..tdo bgn tdo balik pun x sampai2...tp still excited dpt tgk karenah org2 dlm train..kalaulah ada nyanyi2 menari2 kan lg best.....💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

Rindu jgk pada roadside tea yg cawan nye dibuat dr tanah liat..n bila habis minum rasa serba salah nak pecahkn cawan tu tepi jln sbbnya xbiasa buang sampah merata2........😂😂😂

After all this is India...u cannot expect clean road like Singapore

Tapi itulah yg saya rasa rindu

The country itself has it own charm

Yg xkn dpt di mana2 country

India byk mengajar saya tentang kehidupan dlm sudut yg sgt berbeza

Still saya selalu wish dpt menetap di India for living bukan utk holiday

InsyaAllah maybe someday

Dan bila org tanye xbalik india ke dlm nada sindir saya just senyum jawab "InsyaAllah one fine day"

Saya rindu pd keluarga sana...sungguh rindu...

Tp org lain xkn tau whats goin on with u

And its not good to trouble org sana,kan?

Bila saya betul2 sihat...of course I will love to go

India, May Allah protect this country 

#15082016

Till we meet again, my blog

Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal muazin

Dkt surau rumah riyadh ni ada 2 org muazin yg selalu saya dgr. Seorang tu suara dia sgt sedap mendayu2 which remind me of my late father...tp ada seorang muazin ni suara dia agak lantang dan keras...saya x pernah tgk muka dia tp saya membayangkan dia seperti seorang arab yemen atau sudan atau arab baduin...bayangan jelah tak tau betul ke tdk...wallahu alam...

Masa mula2 dgr suara dia, i think last 3/4 years ago...saya tgh potong bawang kt dapur..time tu nak masuk asar kot...bila first time dgr suara dia azan berderau jgk jantung...time tu jgk terus letak pisau amek wudu n solah...😅😅😅bila suami balik saya cerita kt dia..mengekek dia gelak...haha kuang asam tul...but i guess it has some positive attraction from his voice walaupun suara dia x semerdua suara muazin yg lagi satu tp impak dia sgt signifikan pd pendengarnya.....i call this as power of voice.Jgn suruh saya describe kn suara dia sbb saya xtau cmne nk describe tp kalu dgr mmg kedengarannya agak keras atau kasar....its kinda scary plus insaf...now bayangkanlah kalau muazin ni azan time subuh...u imagine it🤔🤔🤔

Alhamdulillah we stay in country which we can listen 5 times per day a call for prayer...berbeza dgn pengalaman 2 thn kami duduk kt singapore...ssh nk dgr azan n bila balik segamat barulah dpt dgr...

I dunno why listen to azan can soften my heart n of course to many people too...x hairanlah ramai non muslim can fall in love with islam just after listen to it...n some of them can cry without any reason...it really touch their heart....

Muazin...doesnt matter how ur voice is....u really play important role EVERYDAY in our life...just like how bilal bin rabah's azan give the whole madinah dwellers tears after Rasulullah wafat...masyaAllah...

May Allah bless them
Aamiin

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal 'guilty'

I cry while reciting It when I feel dejected 

And I really feel guilty inside

Because my tears are not for the meaning

Neither i know nor i understand any of it

but still I cry and cry and cry

I do feel guilty

Still I keep on reciting until I feel relief

Believe me, at this moment

I cannot see whatelse I can do

Wherelse I can go

My heart is stuck

It feels like to burst

I cry out loud while reciting it

But i never stop

I want to read it more and more and more

But i do feel grateful

You, Ya Allah, You give us Your best Book

So that I know where I can turn to whenever I feel down, sorrow, or almost give up

If You dont send us this through our Beloved One, Muhammad

what would happen to us,O Allah

In it, I can find my own peace of mind, heart and soul

Nowherelse

I need it now more than anything

Quran, the Ultimate Book of Allah 

Ma'as Salamah All

Till we meet again, my blog

Goodnite

Assalamualaikum

Feel the Pain...

U know the feeling when your body or soul in so much pain

Physically or mentally pain

And u already try so many ways

It still didnt get any better

One thing u could do 

Perhaps will help you

Just lying on ur bed

In the dark room

It the most silent way

Close your eyes and FEEL THE PAIN

Just feel the pain

And let your heart speaks for u

Heal me Allah

Give me ur best syifa

Help me to get strength

Let me have strong mind

Wipe out all my sins

I am a sinner

I am a sinner, Allah

Feel the pain

Physically and emotionally

Let the pain comes to u

U wont realize sometimes

Tears will rolling from your eyes

Your voice seems stuck on ur throat

But dont stop!

It will calm u

It will make u understand why this pain goes to u

After all strong mind heals everything

Its best therapy for both body and soul

I call it as purification of body, heart and soul

These whole 2 years

Ya Allah...dua tahun x hapdet...kronik betul minah ni...last entry regarding my bornday...pastu krik..krik...krik...nahhhh..dua tahun sepi..hamek ko...

Wut had happened these two years?
MasyaAllah...so many things happened...
Sweet, bitter, happy, sorrow...its mixed emotion...biasalah..thats wut we called life kan..upside down..normal lah tu..but there are few things happened this past two years..which it got effect with my life...berapa kali i thought nak luah dkt sini..but i just dont have guts to write it down..tp slowly2 will do..niat nak tulis semua peristiwa so that ada di hari tua boleh rekindle those days...i kan sentimental punya olang...

These are fews which happened these two years:

1) Angah passed away...my beloved cousin...someday i will write down bout him...adik rindu gelak angah...Alfatihah
2) last year, my two grandmothers passed away..Allahu..its a big loss...Alfatihah
3) I got ill...mysteriously ill...bole ke ek guna ayat misteri tu...hahah..da jumpa doc tp doc ckp xde pape..misteri lah kot...smpai many time rasa stress...feel like to die...this thing m not sure to write it down ke tak...because still m suffering with this illness...lets see..KIV dulu..hehehe...
4) Mom came to Riyadh...2 months y'all..sbb anak dia da feel hopeless dgn sakitnye(actually lifenye)....tapi seorang ibu can bring the energy back u know...this is called power of unconditional love...😍😍😍
5) lagi apa ek...yah finally alhamdulillah after three years waiting...we got our house keys..yeay!!! Dwiputra Residence @Putrajaya...Tapi still nak jugak duduk dkt saudi...i feel this place more close to me...apa2 pun plan still not fixed...hubby says nak back to Malaysia for good...lets see lah...go with the flow gitu...

Dah tu je yg ingat buat masa ni...byk lagi..tp smua choto-choto(small) kot..yg small things normally i just write it down in my mobile..nnt ada masa kita transfer ye ke sini...

Till we meet again, my blog
Hopefully this time not after few years..hikhikhik..

Assalamualaikum