Ini cerita pasal "learning arabic"

Bila saya baca signboard dkt saudi ni barulah saya sedar yg saya masih ingat lagi makna2 perkataan semua tu..3 tahun belajar bahasa arab at least boleh dipraktikkan lagi bila berada di bumi arab ini. MasyaAllah all credit goes to my most fierce Ustazah bahasa arab dkt sekolah tinggi dulu. Kegarangan beliau smpi skang kalu dibangkitkn balik dkt group wassap ex classmate kami mesti masing2 excited nak kongsi memori yg mmg selama2 nya xkn dilupakan.

Bila tiba ujian Nahu, sehari tu akn nmpk satu kelas lebih senyap dari terejal. Sbb masing2 diam2 menghafal- "hua huma hum, hia huma hunna, anta antuma antum" "yazhabu yazhabani, yazhabuna zahabat, zahabata, zahabatu" Belom masuk fiil madi, mudhari, amar lg...Seriously kecut perut. Tangan kaki semua beku. Tak hafal alamatnye libasan tali handbag akan hinggap dkt punggung kami...tp itu pun sudah lali buat kami😂😂😂

Saya berada di kelas terakhir dalam aliran agama (kelas agama ada dua kelas je pun😋) sememangnya ada beza dari segi 'penyerapan ilmu' kalau nak dibandingkn dengan kelas agama kelas satu. Teringat kalau ustazah kami buat lawak dalam bahasa arab takde sorang pun yg ketawa. Sebab satu kelas tak faham. Akhirnya se-dasss "balid jidan" terkena kt kami.😂. Kemudian diteruskn lagi dengan bebelan dalam bahasa arab yg beliau seorang aje faham.  Dia bandingkan kami dengan kelas satu lagi lah tu. Hahaha...ustazah..ustazah..😅

After all, arabic has become one of my favorite subject. Saya pernah belajar Mandarin. Tapi tak seseronok belajar bahasa arab. Malangnya orang arab kt Saudi ni sendiri sudah tidak lagi mengamalkan bahasa arab quran ini dalam perbualan mereka. Saya pernah dgr kata seorang ustaz ni, kalau org arab ni dgr kita cakap bahasa arab formal dgn depa...boleh berdarah telinga dorang dgr. Begitulah ibaratnya. Alahai rugikan. Its very beautiful language. اللغة العربيه اللغة الجنة. Bukankah ianya bahasa Syurga kita nnt.

I still wish to pursue learning arabic dkt Saudi ni. Mcm2 kelas da survey tp masa je tak izinkn sbb selalu bebeno balik kampung halaman😂. Hopefully someday I got chance nak sambung belajar quran n arabic. It is never ending learning even sampai hari tua kita. InsyaAllah.

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal "Asmaul Husna dan habit"

Asma ul husna dan habit
Apa ceritanya?

Waktu sekolah agama johor dulu, setiap hari masa perhimpunan, kami akan baca ramai2 Asmaul Husna ni..saya tak pernah hafal pun..hanya gerak2 mulut je...memang berterabur..tapi bila hujung2 penutup bacaan ini barulah bergema satu sekolah masing2 ikut baca..adehhh...rupanya ramai yg hafal part tu je...😅😅😅

"Alloohumma Solli Afdhollas Sholati’alaa As’adi MAkhluuqoo Tika Sayyidinaa Muhammadiwa’alaa alihii
Washohbihii wasallim ‘Adada Ma’luu Maatika Wamidaa Dzakalimaa Tika Kullamaa
Dzakaro Kad Dzaakiruuna Waghofala ‘An Dzikrihil Ghoofiluun"
(Ha nilah part ayat akhir2 bacaan Asmaul Husna yg semua excited nak nyanyi)

Tapi bila tgk abang2 dan kakak2 pengawas yg hafal 99 nama Allah ni, rasa cemburu sangat...gila slumber je mereka alunkan satu persatu nama2 Allah ni..complete all 99 names..time tu kalau abg pengawas diri depan sambil baca asmaul husna ni mesti mcm curi2 pandang..hahaha..gatai ..jadi diam2 saya tekad nak hafal jgk...malangnya sampai ke sudah tak jugak hafal2..

Then, I determined...saya ingat lagi masa tu duduk Singapore..somehow I got so depressed, tetibe terdengar alunan lagu ni dari kumpulan nasyid..terus tersentuh rasa hati..saya download dan masukkn dlm Ipod...saya listen, listen and listen...then cuba utk follow..saya berjalan ke hulu hilir dlm ruang rumah kecil kami sambil ikut bacaan nasyid itu..mmg tulah perangai saya bila nak hafal satu benda..and sekarang it become one of my habit..sambil masak, atau buat kerja rumah saya akan pasang nasyid ni dan ikut..

Alhamdulillah, walaupun tak hafal sepenuhnya lagi tapi sekurang2nya kalau saya dengar nasyid ni saya sudah boleh ikut sekali satu persatu nama2 Allah tersebut..ada kemajuan lh kalu nk bezakn dgn time sekolah dulu..😋😋😋 After all, its all about HABIT!!!sama juga kalau kita dgr bacaan yaasin..mesti kita boleh ikut sama kan? Sebabnya itu da jadi amalan kita dari kecil sampai ke besar..sekarang disebabkan habit juga, kalau dgr ayat2 quran Surah Waqiah, Surah AlQalam(my fav surah), Surah AlMulk...saya sudah boleh ikut sikit2 bacaan surah tersebut.. Mcm kita dgr lagu lh..kalu selalu dgr kita pun boleh ikut nyanyi sekali kn..

Jom cuba...set your target...challenge yourself...select your favorite ayat or surah...dgr byk kali...sampai jadi habit...target saya? Nak master dlm hafal Surah AlQalam...tak tahu kenapa saya feel close dgn surah ni...anyway, lets try cuba test uji jom!!!

(Saya wish sgt someday dapat buat khat Asmaul husna ni mcm dlm gmbr tu..someday..insyaAllah someday)

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal "What if your loved one gone"

Local author
True story
Full of inspiration
I pray for your smooth journey, Yvonne

Yesterday, was talking with my husband..saudara jauh dia di India meninggal dunia sbb cancer..we talked bout her since past 4 months..n yesterday heard bout that..it really sad..

Sedih..just few months back, suami dia meninggal..n u know the feeling u lost ur support to battle against this cancer..u know u have to fight alone!!!xde langsung financial yg kukuh..apatah lg moral support...n i believe dia xde peluang langsung utk buat sebarang treatment dkt hospital..Allahu..

Redha mana pun kita akan ketentuan yg Esa, bila kita sakit still we need highly support especially from the one we love...kita perlukan touch, good words, care from them..satu masa dulu saya pernah met someone yang sgt2 kuat..bila ditimpa sakit..notting really matters except nak dkt dgn org yg kita syg..walaupun sekejap...

Alfatihah to her
Why am i so emotional?
Because I always been someone yg selalu lupa syukur akan nikmatnya
Yg selalu lupa ada org yg lebih susah dr kita
Yg selalu ingin diberi perhatian sedangkn ramai lg yg mencari perhatian tapi langsung tiada

I really realllly seek for your forgiveness, O Allah...

Till we meet again,my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal "Menuju ke Raudhah"

Ini kisah saya menuju ke Raudhah-21st November 2014

Pukul 4 pg sekarang. Tetibe terjaga dr tidur. Hati sayu sgt teringat Madinah. Its been 2 years sy pergi Madinah..Allahu. mungkin Allah belum izinkn saya jd tetamu Dia lg...last pergi Mekkah pula bila mak dtg ke Riyadh last year😔😔😔

Saya rindu Madinah. Sgt2. The smile on my face in this picture adalah senyuman syukur sebab Allah izinkn saya masuk Raudhah-salah satu taman Syurga. Saya masih ingt lg, it was my birthday. Suami tanya nak hadiah apa. I told him, saya nak pergi Madinah. Slps balik dr Haji, kami belum ziarah lg Madinah. Tp dia risau. Bole ke saya pergi. I said apa nk jadi, kita fikir kemudian..just book the ticket. Huhu..confident je kan..

N yes, sepanjang my journey to Madinah it was NEVER easy. Tp saya tekad dah separuh jln saya akn sempurnakan. After reached Masjid Nabawi, mlm tu jgk sy tekad nk masuk Raudhah. I already half way. Yes I feel so much ill. Allah tau cmne perasaan sy ketika itu. But this is my battle. I told suami saya nk masuk Raudhah. Dia risau nk lepaskn sorang2. I try to convince dia. Kami berdiri di luar gate pintu masuk Raudhah.

Lama kami berdiri. Antara nak masuk dgn tidak. Beza mekah n madinah, pintu masuk wanita dan lelaki berbeza. Saya terpaksa berpisah dan bersendiri di madinah. But then again saya beranikn diri. Suami izin sy masuk. Time tu jam hampir pukul 1 pg. Dua mlm saya tak dpt tidur sbnrnye. So my health is really really bad..But as I said, Saya da separuh jln. This is my battle. Slowly sy ikut jemaah wanita masuk. Makin lama makin ramai. Saya da mula rasa lain. Tapak tgn n dahi mula berpeluh. Saya pndg belakang..saya da berada jauh dlm masjid. Jauh dr suami. Alone. Sesak. Nafas sy mula sesak. Muka mula pucat. Badan saya mula rasa berat. I know 'its coming'. Saya selawat. Saya zikir. I never allowed bisikan jahat patahkn semangat. Saya nmpk tong air zamzam. Saya perlahan2 minum. Kumpul tenaga balik. I calm myself.

Then finally aftr almost 10 min walk, I saw ruang kecil yg dipenuhi org...then I know this is Raudhah. Allahu Akbar. That feeling..masyaAllah..bercampur baur..at short moment..saya lupa yg saya sakit..its totally gone..cpt2 saya menyelit..saya tak nk masa yg byk..saya hanya nk solat dua rakaat..tanda syukur Allah bantu saya..Allah izinkn saya...😭😭😭

To others, maybe it was easy journey..but to me it never was..org ramai selalu sebut untung farah duk saudi ley wat umrah selalu..i wish to stop them from saying that..ye mmg kami dkt dgn Makkah n madinah..tp trust me perasaan bersalah sbb jarang pergi ke sana tu lg teruk drp org yg duk jauh dr dua2 tmpt ni..bersalah sgt..sbb da dkt tp jarang pergi..but then again Allah tahu whats goin on with me..with us suami isteri..ada masa kami terpaksa burn mcm tu je tiket flight..ada masa kami terpaksa cancel..kesian sgt pd suami..but still I never give up..

Pengalaman perjalanan saya menuju ke Raudhah sgt indah walaupun byk cabaran..ianya mengajar saya yg bukan mudah utk ke syurga Allah...syurga Allah itu indah..semua org nk ke sana..tp kalau kita tak kuat kita akan jatuh..nauzubillah..thats the reason I told my husband dkt luar pintu masuk..i pujuk dia suh bg masuk..i told him why should we scared..sekalipun kalau takdir sy mati, saya mati menuju ke jalan Raudhah..saya mati di bandar Rasulullah..why shud i give up..kerana izin Allah saya dpt rezeki ini..saya mohon izin Allah juga utk ke sana lg..Aamiin...

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog

Ini cerita pasal Aim In Life

Dua tiga tahun yg lepas, saya pernah ditanya oleh seseorang.."why dont you find a job, farah...I dont like a woman without a job"...terkedu kejap soalan direct dia mcm tu..yes, his wife is a doctor though, tp rasa mcm nak tanya balik je soalan kt dia..saya tak jadi manusia ke kalau saya tak bekerja..and it didnt end like that..again dia tanya "if u dont do any job, why dont u further ur study?..cari biasiswa and sambung dekat oversea"..saya just senyum je..tp dlm hati mcm nak tanye balik, saya jadi org bodoh ke kalau saya tak sambung belajar..

I called this kind of person 'High-class status with Low-class mentalilty'...tak guna berdebat dgn depa..dia maybe ada banglo yg berjuta2 harga, kereta 3-4 biji..so doesnt meant his life is better than mine..isnt it?

Allah bagi cukup..utk kami..still being a housewife, Alhamdulillah saya masih boleh lagi jaga ibu dan arwah atok yg sakit compare dgn other relatives yg lain yg bekerjaya dan berpelajaran tinggi...still I am not living my life selfishly..saya xkn pentingkn diri sendiri..still saya tau mana yg lebih penting dalam hidup saya..bukan hanya kejar cita2 dan kerjaya..bkn x berhajat..tp situasi saya xmengizinkn...still saya x salahkn sesiapa yg ada kerjaya n berpelajaran tinggi..thats their choice..their life..

I might not be a girl yg bercita2 tinggi..tp saya ada aim in life..saya tau apa yg saya nak dlm hidup..lebih2 lagi bila Allah bagi ujian sakit pada saya..I really see the world in different side..harta, pangkat, status..i never aim for that..that is why I believe in one thing..aturan Allah ada hikmahnya..sebab itu juga tak ada rasa nak mengeluh bila saya tak ada kerjaya, pelajaran, even rezeki anak..its all in Allah's plan..after all, siapa yg bodoh sgt kejar duniawi sekarang ni when we know kita da ada dkt penghujung..

one thing..please jgn pandang rendah pd org yg x berharta..x berstatus..darjat kita x sama semata2 u ada sijil tinggi atau pangkat tinggi..darjat kita esok nnt dinilai atas sifat ArRahman ArRahim Allah..full stop...notting more else matter..

#mirageindesert
#fromdesertwithlove
#coretanblog
#sedikitemosionaltoday

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Masa sekolah dulu ada seorang cikgu ni..dia sgt strict..dia selalu marah ktrg satu kelas..but then..dia selalu pesan kt kami.."cikgu marah ni sebab tanda cikgu sayang..kalau cikgu da malas nak marah tu tanda cikgu da x sayang..da malas nak amek berat hal kamu"

Kita selalu dgr ayat ni kan?..."marah tanda sayang"..now only saya faham..i always devoted my sincere heart for my loved one..n i always show with my emotion(marah,happy,joy,appreciation,merajuk,diam)dlm hal ni saya tak kayu ye..saya cukup berperasaan😜😜😜..n even worse at the age of 30+ I still merajuk dgn my mom..n my mom actually still pujuk me!!!..n what is lovely bout my mom..smpi sekarang dia masih lg guna tone suara masa saya tgh sekolah utk pujuk..😭😭😭...now u tell me..still i deserve this kind of lovely treatment from a mother...but who cares..i will be forever her baby girl🙈🙈

Back to cerita statement cikgu td..it is somehow hubungan antara guru-murid..something breakable..yg bole putus..mcm hubungan cinta..between laki-perempuan...once u da tak sayang ur pasangan, that is the time u rasa u da malas nak amek tau pasal dia..da xde rasa nak marah atau merajuk...tp ni jauh beza dgn hubungan mother-daughter, father-son, kakak-adik, which is unbreakable..yg xkn putus...even you apply apa yg cikgu tu punya statement to ur family..believe in me YOU ARE FULLY IN DENIAL..u cannot stop loving them..sejauh mana you try to ignore or jauh hati or merajuk gila2..jauh dlm sudut hati you still have  love n care for them..ultimately one fine day u again will come back to them n pretend like nothing happened..well this is what people called UNCONDITIONAL LOVE..sentiasa ready nak forgive n forget ur loved one...

But to me still the statement agak scary n confuse...at this moment at least.."marah tanda kita sayang"..wut if I stop marah?(which is actually happened to me)...hmmm..time heals everything, isnt it?...lama2 oklah tu kan..😇😇😇

Jom sambung tidur...mornight peeps!!!

#fromdesertwithlove
#mirageindesert
#coretanblogpukul6pagi

Till we meet again,my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal Adab Memuji

Meriahkan lori ni
Mcm2 di'conteng' nye...ada MasyaAllah, Tabarakallah, Bismillah.

Cara org Saudi kt sini mereka menitik beratkan perkataan MasyaAllah pd sesuatu yg indah yg juga boleh mendorong pujian dari manusia. Mereka sgt menitik beratkan pd penyakit 'Ain'(mata). Okay there is nothing wrong in praising something.  Itu fitrah manusia suka pada sesuatu yg indah asalkan pujian itu jgn berlebihan.

Sekolah2 di sini ada satu subject yg khusus untuk Ain ini. Bayangkan betapa mereka pandang serius akan hal ini di kalangan masyarakat mereka. Mereka ada satu buku teks khusus hanya utk Ain ini. Sebab tu mereka dididik menyebut MasyaAllah ketika ingin memuji sesuatu. Kalau kita tgk banglo2 besar atau kereta2 mewah kt saudi ni mereka akan tampal sticker ماشاالله di kereta dan dinding rumah mereka untuk mengelak pujian direct ke atas subjek tersebut. Sometimes pd baby mereka juga, akan dipakaikan rantai yg ditulis MasyaAllah. Mereka encourage people utk beri pujian pd yg haq. And again untuk elakkan dari penyakit Ain ini.

Now put aside the point regarding pujian dalam perspektif Islam. That is not what I want to write here. What my point here is adalah adab kita untuk express sesuatu yg indah dalam ucapan kita. Tak kisahlah verbally atau physically. And when adab is beautiful then the acceptance will go straight to everyone's heart. The sincerety will show. Maka akan terhindarlah dr penyakit Ain ini. InsyaAllah.

Wallahu A'lam

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal 11 tahun yg lalu

5th September 2005
11 tahun berlalu

Hari dia pergi. Saya peluk rapat along. Separuh jerit dalam sendu saya cakap kat along "adik nak kiamat along...cepatlah kiamat..I want him back.." Ironically, the same immature girl, pernah dulu jerit juga pada kakaknya "ask him to go away from my life...I dont need him"

Astaghfirullah

2 minggu sebelum ayah pergi, 21 Ogos hari jadinya. Kami ingat. Tapi kami pura2 lupa. Egonya adik. I know without remind along pun dia mesti ingat. Tapi degilnya kami.

Astaghfirullah...

Ayah, how can I continue living like this
Sekarang ayah sudah tiada
anak2mu derita dalam diam
Pendam tak terluah
Hadam apa jua yg diberi, dibuli
Sebab takut tak disayangi

Doa adik dah berubah ayah
Tiada lain yg adik minta
kalau mati itu lebih baik dari nyawa
Adik dan along nak bersama
Dkt sana yg kekal selamanya

"Adik nak kiamat"
"Cepatlah kiamat"
Astaghfirullah..masih ingat lg jeritan itu

We will meet you soon Father
AlFatihah

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal SURVIVE

Ini cerita pasal survive

From young girls till grown up girls

We know very well the word of 'surviving'

Thats the reason we dont mind to be the first person to say "I am sorry" and "Thank You" as a matter of appreciation and respect of other people generousity

Its a tough life...very tough

But experience of life taught us not to be ego but humble. We couldnt ask for more what we dont deserve but prefer to strugle n work hard on our own. The rest we choose to leave it to Allah

(We-->me n along)

Till we meet again, my blog

Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal LURUS

Naive and stupid

Ada bezanya.

Saya selalu dipanggil sebagai yg slow, lembab, lambat pickup, naif, lurus, blur (eh banyaknya) sbb susah nak faham apa yg org tu nak sampaikan. Suami saya dulu selalu panggil saya 'tubelight'. Kalu org buat jokes kdg2 saya terpaksa ambil masa 2-3 minit nak faham. Byk kali juga langsung tak faham 😔😔😔

Ada jgk situasi bila masa saya ditipu, I came to my husband n crying. I asked him, teruk sgt ke jd org yg lurus. Dia pujuk saya, "its okay its not ur fault. Your heart is so soft. You are my naive wife, u want to believe on everything.Thats why u always got fooled". I guess he is right. Some people must say u r naive and stupid. But i must say to them I might be naive but I am not stupid.

Kalau boleh I really want to believe on everything. Saya xnak bengkang bengkok kan hati saya dgn "bad things" walupun ianya mustahil. Saya mudah percaya dgn janji org. Saya faham nak survive dlm dunia sekarang ni kita kena berhati2. Naive people used to get fooled. Dan ianya byk berlaku kt diri saya. Yes I used to get exploited and manipulated by people, friends or families but i am not stupid. Stupid people they never learnt from a lesson. I might be naive to get cheated once, but I am not stupid to get fooled twice. Get it?

I am sorry if saya menyusahkn mereka sbb buat mereka fed up utk explain...😔😔😔Saya hargai sungguh2 mereka yg sabar dgn saya. True it hurts if someone shout straightly to my face again n again telling how much tired they are with me..kena explain benda yg sama byk kali..but what can i do? From my sincere heart really I am sorry😭😭😭

Anyway, let me know eh kalu ada kelas tusyen utk org mcm saya..i will be the first to register..😅😅😅

Tapi its ok...saya masih bijak utk choose antara right n wrong(of course lps belajar dr kesilapan)...n if I can make a right choice, I believe I am not that 'lurus' as what certain people think of me..isnt it?😋😋😋

Till we meet again, my blog.

Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal NUMBER OF ENTRIES

My first entry was 2009

Sekarang 2016
7 tahun da berlalu
Maknanya blog ini ditulis masa saya umur 24thn
Bahahahaha
Padanlah ayat skema je bila baca balik
I was soooo immature that time
Tu pun kena dera ngn suami bkk blog ni
Dia yg set up kn smua

So brape byk entries yg saya tulis pun saya xtau
But rest assure...it will continue..insyaAllah

Till we meet again, my blog!!!
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal TERAPI

Terapi

Malam2 teman suami minum kopi dkt kedai mamak...tgh rancak berborak dtg wanita tua bwk dua beg plastik besar jual kerepek 3 RM10 dtg dkt kami...kami beli sebungkus...dan makcik td berlalu pergi...I believe ini suasana yg normal yg selalu ada dekat sini...ramai yg beli hanya niat membantu sahaja...

For us, seing the situation itself breaks our heart...We just silent for a moment. Kami lupa topik apa yg kami borakkan. After a while, saya just ckp ngn suami that could be my therapy. Its not only we need to see beach, river, waterfall, mountain, doctors, travels, entertainment, or even shopping to get  self-therapy or to get piece of mind.

Walaupun mungkin saya tak mampu utk tolong beli kerepek makcik tu...tp hanya lihat dia struggle bwk dua beg kerepek dr meja ke meja itu cukup untuk dijadikan terapi buat saya. Terapi utk kuat. Utk syukur. Utk sabar.

Allow yourself to look at your surrounding. You could find your best therapy in it. Super easy kan? Sebab apa? Sebab Allah kurnia kn akal pada kita utk lihat tersurat dan tersirat darinya. Simple tapi mungkin sgt signifikan.

Selamat malam Malaysia
Masih jetlag

Till we meet again, my blog!!!
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal pesanan buat adikku

To my lil brother...this words is specially for you...

There is the time I think about you almost everyday
There is the time I cry for you almost every night
There is the time I refuse to talk to you for months after months

Whatever emotion I had for you, there is no other reason but care and love for you

How I hope U can see the world in different way
There is so much other reason of living in this place
Yes,world can be so cruel to you
But there is still so much beautiful side
Dont hold yourself from discover it

Start living your life with bright hope
It still not too late and it will never be late
Just unlock your door and move on
We will hold your hand together if you still need us to do so

Our hope is notting to see our little one to be ours again

Just like before

From your big sister, Adik

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal EGO

Letakkan saya bersama org pemalu
Saya akan buatnye mesra
Letakkan saya bersama org pendiam
Saya akan buatnye berkata
Letakkan saya bersama org pemarah
Saya akan buatnye penyabar
Letakkan saya bersama org peramah
Saya akan buatnya pendengar
Tapi jangan letakkan saya bersama org yg ego
Saya tidak akan berbuat apa2

Saya akan biarkan mereka dengan ego mereka

Saya benci pada golongan yg ego
Golongan yang ingin sentiasa menang
Tiada maaf
Tiada toleransi
Tiada kasih sayang

Maaf.
I dont entertain these people.

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal IMAN

Tarik tali
It feels like I'm having thug of war with myself

To loose
To pull or
To hold

Dont even have guts to let it loose
Yet have no power to pull
Or do I need to hold it till it hurts?

O Almighty Allah
I seek for your forgiveness

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal RINDU

I WANNA hold ur hand
I STILL wanna hold ur hand
I NEED to hold ur hand
I really MISS to hold ur hand

Those were the days where u always hold our hands
Bring us hope, courage, and endless love
Nobody will do like u do
Nobody!!!

Now u r gone
Things has changed
People has changed
I can no longer pretending in front of them
I hate to pretend
Why cant i just be me?
But no...for their sake I have to pretend
With my deepest hope
That everything goin to be okay

M sorry
I have no longer be ur good girl as i used to be
But believe in me
I will come back to my old me
And this time I promise u there wud be no turning back for me

In jannah that is the place we will be
Much love, Atok
Miss u badly

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal RINDU

I WANNA hold ur hand
I STILL wanna hold ur hand
I NEED to hold ur hand
I really MISS to hold ur hand

Those were the days where u always hold our hands
Bring us hope, courage, and endless love
Nobody will do like u do
Nobody!!!

Now u r gone
Things has changed
People has changed
I can no longer pretending in front of them
I hate to pretend
Why cant i just be me?
But no...for their sake I have to pretend
With my deepest hope
That everything goin to be okay

M sorry
I have no longer be ur good girl as i used to be
But believe in me
I will come back to my old me
And this time I promise u there wud be no turning back for me

In jannah that is the place we will be
Much love, Atok
Miss u badly

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal something inevitable

Doesnt matter how much u sincere,  if u r nobody...u will remain nobody
Doesnt matter how much u care,
if u r nobody...u will remain nobody

How much u want to stay away from this feeling,
it will come back to u eventually

It is inevitable
Its beyond ur power
It will stuck with u forever

Huh!
Those whispers
Keep on luring you
Those words
Keep on insulting you

But just stop
To whom it may concern...

How much you are faking
I'm not naive as u think I used to be
I notice most of everything
One day my silence will be replacing me

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Its his birthday

Its 21st August
The day u were born
Yesterday I dreamt of u

My bad...
When U were still alive every year we celebrate
When U gone this date I almost forget

I never had a chance to say I am sorry
Never got guts to say I love u
That is my biggest regret
I have to carry for my whole life

I am sorry
Really I am
For everything
I Miss u badly

Alfatihah untuk ayah

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal India...Merdeka day!!!

Happy Independence Day India!!!

🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳

Suatu hari suami pernah tanya nak tukar nationality x jadi Indian

Saya just jawab go with the flow...

mana Allah nak letak rezeki kita...

mana yg lebih baik utk hari tua kita...

Malaysia atau India doesnt matter...

Saya sayang India...segalanya tentang India

Saya rindu pada suasana 'huruhara' di sana

Naik rickshaw(beca) sambil rasa simpati tgk tukang kayuh...tgn kaki serius tnggl tulang tp masih ada kudrat kayuh berejam2...masyaAllah

Berebut naik bas sambil pegang tgn suami ketat2 takut terlepas...n bila dapat tempat duduk rasa macam satu kemenangan...😭😭😭

Naik train 16jam..tdo bgn tdo balik pun x sampai2...tp still excited dpt tgk karenah org2 dlm train..kalaulah ada nyanyi2 menari2 kan lg best.....💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

Rindu jgk pada roadside tea yg cawan nye dibuat dr tanah liat..n bila habis minum rasa serba salah nak pecahkn cawan tu tepi jln sbbnya xbiasa buang sampah merata2........😂😂😂

After all this is India...u cannot expect clean road like Singapore

Tapi itulah yg saya rasa rindu

The country itself has it own charm

Yg xkn dpt di mana2 country

India byk mengajar saya tentang kehidupan dlm sudut yg sgt berbeza

Still saya selalu wish dpt menetap di India for living bukan utk holiday

InsyaAllah maybe someday

Dan bila org tanye xbalik india ke dlm nada sindir saya just senyum jawab "InsyaAllah one fine day"

Saya rindu pd keluarga sana...sungguh rindu...

Tp org lain xkn tau whats goin on with u

And its not good to trouble org sana,kan?

Bila saya betul2 sihat...of course I will love to go

India, May Allah protect this country 

#15082016

Till we meet again, my blog

Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal muazin

Dkt surau rumah riyadh ni ada 2 org muazin yg selalu saya dgr. Seorang tu suara dia sgt sedap mendayu2 which remind me of my late father...tp ada seorang muazin ni suara dia agak lantang dan keras...saya x pernah tgk muka dia tp saya membayangkan dia seperti seorang arab yemen atau sudan atau arab baduin...bayangan jelah tak tau betul ke tdk...wallahu alam...

Masa mula2 dgr suara dia, i think last 3/4 years ago...saya tgh potong bawang kt dapur..time tu nak masuk asar kot...bila first time dgr suara dia azan berderau jgk jantung...time tu jgk terus letak pisau amek wudu n solah...😅😅😅bila suami balik saya cerita kt dia..mengekek dia gelak...haha kuang asam tul...but i guess it has some positive attraction from his voice walaupun suara dia x semerdua suara muazin yg lagi satu tp impak dia sgt signifikan pd pendengarnya.....i call this as power of voice.Jgn suruh saya describe kn suara dia sbb saya xtau cmne nk describe tp kalu dgr mmg kedengarannya agak keras atau kasar....its kinda scary plus insaf...now bayangkanlah kalau muazin ni azan time subuh...u imagine it🤔🤔🤔

Alhamdulillah we stay in country which we can listen 5 times per day a call for prayer...berbeza dgn pengalaman 2 thn kami duduk kt singapore...ssh nk dgr azan n bila balik segamat barulah dpt dgr...

I dunno why listen to azan can soften my heart n of course to many people too...x hairanlah ramai non muslim can fall in love with islam just after listen to it...n some of them can cry without any reason...it really touch their heart....

Muazin...doesnt matter how ur voice is....u really play important role EVERYDAY in our life...just like how bilal bin rabah's azan give the whole madinah dwellers tears after Rasulullah wafat...masyaAllah...

May Allah bless them
Aamiin

Till we meet again, my blog
Assalamualaikum

Ini cerita pasal 'guilty'

I cry while reciting It when I feel dejected 

And I really feel guilty inside

Because my tears are not for the meaning

Neither i know nor i understand any of it

but still I cry and cry and cry

I do feel guilty

Still I keep on reciting until I feel relief

Believe me, at this moment

I cannot see whatelse I can do

Wherelse I can go

My heart is stuck

It feels like to burst

I cry out loud while reciting it

But i never stop

I want to read it more and more and more

But i do feel grateful

You, Ya Allah, You give us Your best Book

So that I know where I can turn to whenever I feel down, sorrow, or almost give up

If You dont send us this through our Beloved One, Muhammad

what would happen to us,O Allah

In it, I can find my own peace of mind, heart and soul

Nowherelse

I need it now more than anything

Quran, the Ultimate Book of Allah 

Ma'as Salamah All

Till we meet again, my blog

Goodnite

Assalamualaikum

Feel the Pain...

U know the feeling when your body or soul in so much pain

Physically or mentally pain

And u already try so many ways

It still didnt get any better

One thing u could do 

Perhaps will help you

Just lying on ur bed

In the dark room

It the most silent way

Close your eyes and FEEL THE PAIN

Just feel the pain

And let your heart speaks for u

Heal me Allah

Give me ur best syifa

Help me to get strength

Let me have strong mind

Wipe out all my sins

I am a sinner

I am a sinner, Allah

Feel the pain

Physically and emotionally

Let the pain comes to u

U wont realize sometimes

Tears will rolling from your eyes

Your voice seems stuck on ur throat

But dont stop!

It will calm u

It will make u understand why this pain goes to u

After all strong mind heals everything

Its best therapy for both body and soul

I call it as purification of body, heart and soul

These whole 2 years

Ya Allah...dua tahun x hapdet...kronik betul minah ni...last entry regarding my bornday...pastu krik..krik...krik...nahhhh..dua tahun sepi..hamek ko...

Wut had happened these two years?
MasyaAllah...so many things happened...
Sweet, bitter, happy, sorrow...its mixed emotion...biasalah..thats wut we called life kan..upside down..normal lah tu..but there are few things happened this past two years..which it got effect with my life...berapa kali i thought nak luah dkt sini..but i just dont have guts to write it down..tp slowly2 will do..niat nak tulis semua peristiwa so that ada di hari tua boleh rekindle those days...i kan sentimental punya olang...

These are fews which happened these two years:

1) Angah passed away...my beloved cousin...someday i will write down bout him...adik rindu gelak angah...Alfatihah
2) last year, my two grandmothers passed away..Allahu..its a big loss...Alfatihah
3) I got ill...mysteriously ill...bole ke ek guna ayat misteri tu...hahah..da jumpa doc tp doc ckp xde pape..misteri lah kot...smpai many time rasa stress...feel like to die...this thing m not sure to write it down ke tak...because still m suffering with this illness...lets see..KIV dulu..hehehe...
4) Mom came to Riyadh...2 months y'all..sbb anak dia da feel hopeless dgn sakitnye(actually lifenye)....tapi seorang ibu can bring the energy back u know...this is called power of unconditional love...😍😍😍
5) lagi apa ek...yah finally alhamdulillah after three years waiting...we got our house keys..yeay!!! Dwiputra Residence @Putrajaya...Tapi still nak jugak duduk dkt saudi...i feel this place more close to me...apa2 pun plan still not fixed...hubby says nak back to Malaysia for good...lets see lah...go with the flow gitu...

Dah tu je yg ingat buat masa ni...byk lagi..tp smua choto-choto(small) kot..yg small things normally i just write it down in my mobile..nnt ada masa kita transfer ye ke sini...

Till we meet again, my blog
Hopefully this time not after few years..hikhikhik..

Assalamualaikum